Zandria - Keep Up With Me

2003-06-18T20:51:00.000-04:00

THIS IS IT! GOOD-BYE BLOGSPOT!!!!

UPDATE YOUR BOOKMARKS:

NEW WEBSITE IS HTTP://WWW.ZANDRIA.US

2003-06-17T21:17:00.000-04:00

STAY TUNED

I’ve been spending a lot of time on the computer the past few days, working on my new website. I’ll post the new web address once I’m done with everything, but I’m holding off until I get the site looking the way I want it to look. I’m such a perfectionist...I just wish I knew more about building websites. I’ve learned a little bit in the past year (definitely more then I knew before I started), but BlogSpot is a pretty easy system to use so I didn’t have to try too hard before. Starting a site where I have to manipulate the codes and templates to get it looking the way I want will force me to learn more – which never hurts. My thing is that I’m pretty good at following directions if they’re presented in a good format – I was successful in transferring all the archives from BlogSpot to my new site on the first try (which is harder than it sounds, per some comments I read online before I attempted it). It should all be straightened out to my liking pretty soon, at least well enough that I won’t be embarrassed for everyone to see it. Stay tuned.

2003-06-15T00:16:00.000-04:00

WHY I DO WHAT I DO

When I started this website last September I was on my way to California from my home in Richmond, VA for an indefinite length of time. I was going through a rough time mentally, frustrated because I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life and feeling that as long as I stayed in the same place, in the same full-time job, that it wasn’t likely to get any better. I needed a break. I drove almost 3000 miles to southern California, stayed with my aunt and uncle for about three and a half months (mid-September to the end of December, 2002), and got to experience a completely new place. I really liked it out there and I still miss it, but I decided to come back to Virginia to finish college (something that’s always been really important to me). I came back refreshed and ready to get back into what I needed to do.

My original intention with starting this website was to have a place for my family and friends to visit and read about what was going on in my life while I was away, without having to email everyone individually. I’ve liked writing ever since I was little, but I didn’t realize how much I would like having a public forum like this to get my thoughts out in the open. It’s a nice feeling for someone like me (a person who doesn’t normally like to draw attention to myself) to know that people visit my site because they’re interested enough in what I say to come back on a regular basis. I started out pretty much just writing about things that happened during my drive out, places I visited once I got there, funny antidotes that I thought might make people laugh. Then I started writing about things where my personal opinions about things started coming out more.

I don’t know when personal opinions become too much – from other websites that I’ve read, some people don’t go too much into their own opinions, and some people have very strong opinions about many different topics. I don’t want to be like some sites that I’ve seen that say “Don’t come here to visit if you don’t agree with what I say – screw you.” I don’t feel that way. But I would like for people to tell me if something I say offends them (this goes out more to those people I know personally, not so much to those I’ve never met – sorry, is that offensive?). Because I care about the people that I know, and I care about what they think of me. I wouldn’t want people to think that I look down on others because of certain things that I say, because I don’t. It’s recently come to my attention that certain things I’ve said have been construed that I think the way I do things is the best way, or that I may look down on people who don’t do the same things I do, or think the same way. That could not be farther from the truth. All I want is for other people to live their lives in the way that makes them happiest – if for me that’s going to school and for another person it’s joining the circus, then that’s great. One example that was pointed out to me was a comment I made a few weeks ago about not enjoying fried foods like I used to. That point of view goes for me, and only me. I realize that many people don’t like to eat the way I do, and that’s fine. I just want to make sure people know that when I make comments like those, I’m not saying them to be offensive. Sometimes I just feel like writing and a completely random incident will pop into my head…and that will be what I end up writing about. “Hmm…nothing interesting going on in the world or in my life that I can think to write about. How about I comment on that nasty, greasy French fry that I ate today?”

It’s hard to know where to draw the line. I don’t feel like I say things in a threatening manner or a my-way-is-the-best-way approach, at least not purposefully. I try to come across in a way that says “This is the way I feel about things, these are my thoughts on the matter, etc.” I’ve had some of my friends tell me that they don’t agree with certain things that I’ve said, and I love when that happens. Tell me why you don’t agree with me, that’s fine. I like for people to know my opinions on things, but also to take them with a grain of salt, like I do when I read other people’s websites. I can read something written by someone I’ve never met, and to me it’s interesting how people can think totally opposite from the way I do, or be comfortable talking about a subject that I wouldn’t be. And maybe that makes a difference, that I’ve never met them personally, so I don’t get offended by the things that they say – I would hope that that wouldn’t the case, but you never know.

I probably won’t be writing for a few days. I’m trying to move from this Blogger-hosted site to my own personal domain, so look for some changes pretty soon.

2003-06-13T12:40:00.000-04:00

IT'S JUST SO OBSCURE

Some classes are easier to study for than others...this goes without saying. But there are some that are difficult that I don't mind studying for (like history for instance, with all its dates and facts and “how does this event that happened 50 years ago impact us today?”). That’s fine – the facts are straightforward and easy to understand. You may have to do a lot of memorization, but at least you can understand what you're studying without too much difficulty. With the Ethics class I’m taking this summer, I have to memorize terms like "solipsism" and be able to explain the difference between relativism and pluralism, evolutionary ethics vs. evolved ethics, utilitarianism and deontology. Not fun. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if I found this new subject matter interesting, but the material is just really dry (the professor’s teaching style doesn’t help either). I’m not going to ask why I need to know this stuff, because I know that’s the point of taking a class that you’re not familiar with. It’s the same thing as people asking “Why do I have to take algebra/calculus/statistics? I’m never going to use this in the REAL world.” Some things you have to do just because they’re required, and get through it any way you can. After that you can either choose to forget everything, or maybe one day I’ll be watching the news or reading a book, and I’ll run across one of these terms again and actually know what the author is referring to. Who knows? I’m trying to look on the bright side. Our first exam is next week and I’ve got to remember the differences between all these obscure terms…

2003-06-10T23:04:00.000-04:00

DON'T. SAY. IT.

You know, one phrase that I have never liked is when someone tells another person to "shut up." It’s very rare that I use the phrase myself, and whenever I do it’s like an automatic reaffirmation for me that I have a problem with it. I’m sure part of this feeling comes from my parent’s reaction to it when I was growing up – we were never allowed to tell anyone else to "shut up." It was always "Don’t say shut up. If anything, say ‘be quiet’." It doesn’t seem so bad when compared to other things that can be said – bad words and belittling putdowns – but it just seems like such a hateful thing to say. One thing I can’t stand hearing kids yell "shut up" to each other. And if they have the audacity to direct it towards a grownup, I just want to smack them over the head. Hard. (Another example of my mean streak when it comes to children – do what I say or else, damn it!) I heard someone at work today telling another person to "shut up", which is where this whole thing began. Even when it’s said in a joking manner, my response is always to think "Who are YOU to tell that person to shut up?" (Maybe it’s a good thing that I’m so shy – if I had balls then I might just confront somebody. Writing about it online is about as far as I’ll go.) I just get this image in my head of some domineering figure, commanding someone to "shut up" just because they can – just because they have that authority. You know, some sniveling person begging for mercy: "Please sir, please don’t hurt me. I don’t deserve this—" "SHUT UP!" the other person roars. I know, I’m probably looking into this a bit too much, as I’m apt to do.

2003-06-09T12:05:00.000-04:00

DID YOU KNOW...?

In the year of 1980:
*The U.S. boycotts the summer Olympics in Moscow, USSR
*Post-It Notes are introduced by 3-M
*Mt. Saint Helens erupts, killing 60 people
*About 125,000 Cubans leave Cuba for America, most are criminals hand picked by Castro's men, only a few are relatives of those in America.
*Japan passes the US as the largest automaker
*"Who shot J.R.?" is talked about heavily from the TV show Dallas. On 11/21/80, the conclusion draws more viewers than any other show in TV history up to that point.
*John Lennon is assassinated by Mark David Chapman, 12/8/80

In the month of June, 1980:
Ted Turner's Cable News Network (CNN) began broadcasting, as the first all-news service

On this exact day, 23 years ago (June 9, 1980):
This was the cover of Sports Illustrated magazine.

Comedian Richard Pryor was rushed to the hospital after suffering third-degree burns over most of his upper body. Pryor was nearly killed in an explosion while he was freebasing cocaine. Pryor was seen, ablaze, running down the street from his house before he collapsed and was rushed to the hospital. He was hospitalized for more than two months following the incident.

I was born at exactly 12 noon.

These people share my birthday:
Natalie Portman
Michael J. Fox
Johnny Depp

2003-06-08T22:17:00.000-04:00

I WISH

I wish that I could be giddy. Not silly-stupid-airhead-giggly, and not all the time – there’s a time for laughter and there’s a time to be serious. It would be nice to throw my head back and laugh with abandon because something strikes me as funny. I do laugh. I suppose I just don’t always find the same things as humorous as other people do. I look at other people laughing sometimes and I think it would be nice to join in, but it’s hard for me to let myself go like that. That’s one thing I would change about my personality if I could. I think I have a tendency to look at things with some level of skepticism. Which can be good – I like being analytical – but it’s possible to take yourself too seriously.

I wish I knew how to "let it go." Not in the sense that I dwell on things – just the opposite – I tend to put things out of my mind pretty quickly that I don’t want to think about. I say "let it go" in the sense that I have perfectionist tendencies. I do well in school because it’s what I want to do, but it’s also because I feel like I have to. This is good in that it keeps me focused, but even when I do well I don’t stay satisfied for long. Once I finish a semester and get my grades, I’m content for the length of time it takes me to start new classes. Then it starts all over and I’m back at Square One. I feel like I have to keep proving myself.

I wish that I could eat something that for me is "out of the norm" without feeling guilty. I know that an occasional slice of cake won’t hurt me, but it’s impossible for me to eat something like that and not think about it. Most of the time it’s easier just to avoid it.

I wish that I were more spontaneous. I’m not comfortable with my life in the sense that I want to stay where I am and do the same things for the rest of my days (just the opposite!), but I have issues with taking those first proactive steps. I admire people who get up and do something, go somewhere, change their lives just because it feels right. Not in a spur-of-the-moment or unresponsible kind of way – even spontaneous decisions can be well thought-out and well-planned.

That’s a lot of "I wish"es. They don’t constantly dominate my thoughts, even though some of them may seem big. It’s just the way I am, and part of my personality, so I’m used to living with them. And these thoughts of mine tend to surface more often at "meaningful" times: New Years’ Eve for instance (that time of year for mass resolutions and personal introspection) – and when I’m about to add a year to my age. I’ve changed so much in the past few years that I think it’s entirely possible I’ll be different in just a few years more. Life is nothing if it doesn’t include changes.

2003-06-06T14:21:00.000-04:00

THERE IS A TIME AND A PLACE...AND THIS IS NEITHER THE TIME, NOR THE PLACE

Not to bring up a rude topic of conversation, but this should really go without saying. If you have to go to the bathroom and do a…(ahem)…number two – WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO IT IN A PUBLIC BATHROOM? I know, yes, I understand…we’ve all (or at least most of us) done it at some time or other. There just seems to be a higher-than-normal percentage of people who work in my department that really need to do their “business” elsewhere. They think they’re being smart – they’ll go into the very last stall in the very back of the bathroom. And when other people walk in (myself, for instance) they will be very, very quiet and pretend that they’re really not there (you’re so SNEAKY!!). Well lady, if you’re so smart you’d know that other people can see your feet underneath the stall door.

I can just imagine the thoughts that run through their heads: “Darn it! I thought I could go quickly enough before someone else came in. I should have realized that there are a lot of people on this floor and the bathroom doesn’t normally stay empty for very long. I guess I should have been smart enough to go to the bathroom at the other end of the floor – the one that doesn’t get quite as much traffic as this one. Now I’ll have to sit here and be very, very quiet and maybe the person who has just come in won’t notice me. Once she leaves I can get out of here and go back to what I’m supposed to be doing.”

I admit it – I’m ruthless. Go home and do your business…other people have to use this space too. If I’m not in a rush I will be slow on purpose, just to make that other person wait and seethe (yeah I know, I can be mean if I really want to). I’ll wash my hands veeeerrrrryyyyy slooooowwwwlllyyyy…then fix my hair…adjust my clothes in the mirror. They’re definitely guilty if they sit in that stall the entire time, not making a sound, not moving a muscle. I have no sympathy for sneaky bathroom users.

2003-06-03T23:30:00.000-04:00

I KNOW THIS IS COMPLETELY IRRATIONAL, BUT...

There’s a coat closet beside the front door of the house that I live in with my sister. I probably couldn’t explain any possible reason for this, but every single time that I open that closet door the thought crosses my mind that someone could be hiding in there, ready to jump out. Nobody has ever jumped out of that closet before, at least not when I’ve been in the room. We’ve never had anyone break into our home, so it can’t rationally be a fear of an intruder. And it is only that one closet. No problems opening my bedroom closet, or walking into an empty room in the dark. But it doesn’t matter whether I’m walking into the house by myself or if someone else is in the room with me…when I open that door and nothing jumps out at me (for the umpteenth time of course), my eyes still scan the hanging coats to make sure there isn’t anyone hiding behind them.

I’m not scared of heights. I love to fly. I don’t care for spiders (they can run awfully fast) but I can kill one by myself if the need arises, instead of having to scream and yell for someone else to do it. Even snakes are okay, as long as I don’t meet a poisonous one while out in the boonies. Some friends of mine in Ohio used to own snakes, and when I went out there to visit a few years ago I had no problem picking one up and letting it wrap itself around me. I don’t care for the sensation of falling or for very fast speeds (which is probably why I’ve never liked roller coasters), but I know there are other people out there who are like that as well. Adversely, I also avoid slow-moving boats, but that comes from my tendency towards motion sickness. My point (do I have one? do I need one?): Most "fears" are rational, or at least have some kind of reasoning behind them. Not this one. If anyone ever jumped out at me from that coat closet I would never be the same again.

2003-06-02T23:40:00.000-04:00

COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN...

We think we have it bad. Or to rephrase that, to personalize it rather than using the general "we" – sometimes I think I have it bad. I’ll complain about something that bothers me. "That gets on my nerves." "Please stop doing that." Someone pulled out in front of my car a few months back and I was inconvenienced with having to deal with insurance companies and rental cars. At least I have a car. I have a reliable car that’s just over three years old and almost paid off. Woe is me.

I don’t always like having to go to work. What a surprise. There are probably very few of us who really love how they make a living. For those of you who have found their niche…that is awesome. Stay there forever and flourish. Then I go to my mom’s house and she tells me about her day. My mom likes what she does (credit counseling), but there is no possible way for anyone but Superman to keep up with the amount of work that comes into her office and all the things that she and her office-mate are expected to do. I have things I’m responsible for at work, but I can honestly say it’s never been to the point where I have felt overwhelmed or that I couldn’t control the situation. I do what I’m expected to do, work the hours I’m scheduled, and then I go home. My sister is happy – she’s generally upbeat – but today at her job she took almost 120 calls. One hundred and twenty different people got their questions answered or complaints heard or service switched or payment made by one person. It has been a very, very, very long time since I took that many calls at my job. In fact, it has probably happened less times that I could count on one hand since I started working there almost five years ago.

It’s hard to always look on the bright side of a situation. I know that just as well as anyone. I comfort myself a little bit in that I recognize this flaw and recently I’ve been consciously trying to think about the good things I have when I come across all the awful things that I hear about every day. (No, it doesn't always work. I have a tendency to think things through too much.) The inspiration for this post comes mainly from an online article I read today that said over 1000 people in India have died in the past three weeks because of HEATSTROKE. Reading that article reminded me of the post that I wrote here a few months ago about my Woodstock ’99 experience. "It was the hottest I have ever been. There wasn’t any relief from the heat." Yes, it was damn hot. No, we literally were not able to find relief from the heat while in that situation. But you know what? We were in New York state, in the United States of America. I had the option of walking my happy a** to the nearest town, if not driving, and opening the door of the nearest air-conditioned building. I was never in any danger of losing my life. You have to love putting things in perspective.

2003-05-29T11:55:00.000-04:00

IT COULD JUST BE ME, BUT...

This article says that over 20 million students will attend a prom this year, with the average 17-year-old spending $638. Yes, for one person. I went to a small high school where you didn’t necessarily have to have the "right look" – sure, we made a big deal out of it just like you would anywhere else, but I was probably lucky in that people spent money if they wanted to, but there were also a lot of people who just did their own thing. I bought a dress and shoes, I had the shoes dyed to match the dress, but those are the only things I spent money on. A friend did my hair and makeup. No fancy limo (I’ve still never been in one).

I can understand kids wanting to spend money in order to make the prom "a night to remember," it’s just the amount spent on this pursuit that I find kind of crazy. I won’t refute that a prom isn’t a memorable experience, but I had just as much fun in my non-designer dress then I would have if I spent tons of money. If I take the time to think back, I can still remember pretty much everything that happened the day of my senior prom – including the rendezvous to Wal-Mart made by myself, my date, and the two other couples that we went to dinner with - between the time we finished dinner and before we actually went to the location where the prom was being held. Don’t ask me why we did this. One of those random things that teenagers do, I suppose. I was a senior and about to graduate but I was still only a month or two shy of my 17th birthday. We didn’t buy anything at Wal-Mart, we just thought it would be fun to walk around in public in our prom finery. Tee-hee, giggle-giggle...

Pictures. Dinner. Dancing. The pink carnation wrist corsage. Permission to go to Charlottesville afterward (about an hour from where we lived at the time) with my date, my best friend Christina, and her boyfriend (nicknamed "Bones") who had an apartment there. Ordering pizza. Walking the streets there late at night, just because we wanted to. Listening to Bones’ long-haired hippie roommate play the guitar like nobody’s business. Sleeping on the living room floor. The next day we all woke up and went ice-skating (the first and last time I’ve ever done so). Those are the things I remember.

2003-05-28T23:27:00.000-04:00

YUM YUM...

I came across an article recently, entitled "Tobacco In Your Tiramsu?" It's about how restaurants in New York are getting creative by adding nicotine-enhanced food (and drinks) to their menus. This is (of course) in response to the recent smoking ban, in order to hopefully drum up some extra business. From what I've heard, the body doesn't have a response to tobacco in food/drink like it does when inhaled as smoke...so what's the point? Feel like trying something new? Go for it. I'm not a smoker but I'd try it just out of curiosity.

2003-05-26T14:23:00.000-04:00

NOTES TO SELF

DON’T get so caught up while at your friend’s party with looking in the fridge for the cake that you forget about the plate of pickle slices on the floor. Yes, the ones you just happened to sit right beside your knee. You may forget about them, move your knee over, and succeed in squishing 2-3 of those slices (not to mention having to clean the pickle seeds and juice off your jeans).

DO take advantage of the empty house on Saturday to get things done that you’ve been putting off. This includes washing your car in the backyard, doing a load of clothes, cleaning a sinkful of dishes, scrubbing the bathroom, wiping off the front of the kitchen cabinets, and dusting the front of the television and computer screens, among others. It’s so much easier to get on a roll and take care of everything at one time.

DON’T get involved in the Scrabble game with your Dad and younger brother when they spend the night on Sunday. Scrabble is a good thing – but not when it takes over two hours for them to play a single game. You end up playing anyway when (to help said game go faster) you volunteer to help younger brother make longer words.

DO smile when Dad and brother fall asleep on the couch beside you. Dad can still fall asleep faster than anyone else you know – he freely admits his propensity to pass out in front of the TV at the drop of a hat. The funniest part of his falling asleep is that, when he wakes up from time to time, he tries to make it seem like he was never asleep at all. He accomplishes this farce by immediately starting to HUM when he wakes up (don’t ask me why – it’s not like we’re fooled), but when the humming stops it’s usually because his eyes have closed once again.

2003-05-23T13:09:00.000-04:00

UNAPPEALING OPTIONS

Going to class shouldn’t be a hazardous undertaking. I’m taking a summer class at a community college that has two different campuses, one of them in downtown Richmond. I usually try to avoid this particular campus because the parking situation is horrendous, but it’s the only place I could take the Ethics class that I need.

Option #1 is to park directly across the street from the building, in an “Honor” parking lot where the spaces are numbered and you have to put the money in a centrally located box for the privilege of parking there. I say “privilege” sarcastically because most of the lot is a combination of gravel and dirt…and last night it was raining…so basically they wanted a fee of $3.50 for the privilege of allowing me to park in their sea of mud. Even with these factors I would have paid the money in order to be so close to the building, but alas, the only money I had in my purse was a $20 bill and a few coins. No way was I putting THAT in the box just to make sure that my vehicle didn’t get towed, and I wasn’t going to park without paying anything either – how fun would it be to get out of class at 10pm and not have a ride home?

Which leads us to the ominous Option #2. There are three free parking lots, the nearest one located about a quarter mile or so away from the campus, and the farthest about ¾ of a mile away. Luckily (if you can call it that) I got a space in the first free lot since it’s the summer session and of course not as many people there, but the walk is treacherous. It’s worse than normal right now because there’s road construction going on, so instead of being able to stay on one side of the road with a sidewalk (that’s now blocked-off and inaccessible), you have to WAIT YOUR TURN TO CROSS A ROAD THAT HAPPENS TO BE AN ENTRANCE RAMP TO THE INTERSTATE. Yes, that’s right. Last night during rush hour I had to wait for a long enough break between cars to make a mad dash across the interstate entrance. Then I walk on a sidewalk across an interstate overpass; the sidewalk ends and I continue walking down a grassy area (also muddy), until I finally reach my destination. The problem is slightly different at 10pm – there are hardly any cars but the area is not sufficiently lit so I’m walking in fear of my safety. The class only goes for another nine weeks though, so hopefully I’ll be better prepared the rest of the time and bring my money so I can park in their overpriced hell-hole.

2003-05-22T12:18:00.000-04:00

CAT-FIGHT!!!

Yeah, I know – you read the title and thought this post was going to be about some chicks having a violent, physical disagreement…am I right? Sorry to disappoint you. I’m talking about LITERAL cats this time (as in “me-ow”). My sister (the one that I live with) has a cat, which she acquired last year during a period of time that I was living out of state. I generally put up with this arrangement pretty well, even though I don’t particularly care for cats. I keep my bedroom door closed most of the time because I don’t like the cat in my room, but she’ll get in sometimes by pushing the door open if it’s not shut all the way. I don’t pet the cat and usually only touch her if I’m picking her up to deposit her OUT of my room, but I’ll feed her if I see it hasn’t been done (but that’s the extent of my generosity). I decided during a moment of temporary insanity a few years ago that I wanted a cat, and a girl that I worked with at the time was trying to get rid of one. I wised up after a few days, but of course by that time it was too late and I was already the proud owner of, yes, a CAT. That arrangement lasted maybe a month or two before I ended up giving him away to someone else. Don’t get me wrong…I don’t hate cats. If other people like them then that’s fine, I can co-exist with them without too many problems…I just wouldn’t have one personally if it was up to me.

So why is there a cat-fight going at the moment? My sister’s boyfriend has a cat as well, and he’ll be out of town until Monday so we’re watching his feline until he gets back. This might not be such a big deal if Elissa’s cat and his cat got along, but both of them live in households where they’re the only animal around. So all I’ve been hearing this morning since I got back from class (just finished the spring semester and I started the summer session this week) is “Rrrroooowwww….” and “Hiiiiiissssssss” and that part-moan/part-growling sound in the back of the throat that only a cat can do so well. They haven’t actually physically attacked each other yet that I can tell, but seeing as how I try to stay out of close proximity if at all possible, I might not know even if they HAD.

2003-05-20T21:05:00.000-04:00

IDOL TIME…FOR SOME

On the news tonight, I heard that the American Idol website has gotten so many hits in the past week or so that it’s the 4th most popular site in the WORLD right now. I knew that the show was popular but it was still pretty shocking to hear. Apparently the second season is winding down and the grand finale airs tomorrow night – I know the names of the people in the "final two" (it’s hard to miss even if you WANTED to, if you watch/read any kind of news on TV/online), but I haven’t watched any of the actual shows this season (and only a few from the first season). I’m sure that it’s an okay program – otherwise it wouldn’t be watched and the contestants voted on by so many people – but I’ve just never been able to get into it. If I happen to see a clip on a television news program, it’s just some random person with a great voice that I don’t know singing some random song. It’s not like I’ve taken a personal stand not to watch the show but I don’t listen to information about the show if I can help it.

I know this sentiment may not be popular, but…Clay or Ruben? Ruben or Clay? Who cares? It’s not like those 30 million people who watch the show every week are all going to go and buy the winner’s CD when it comes out. Kelly Clarkson may have sold some albums but it was nothing like the number that watched her and the others on the first American Idol. At this point I feel like I’ve avoided American Idol for so long that I might as well continue to do so almost as a matter of principle. I think it’s possible to avoid something for so long that it becomes habit and it’s easy not to join in the mass hysteria.

2003-05-19T21:32:00.000-04:00

MADE "YOUR WAY"

I was listening to the radio this afternoon on my way home from work when I happened to hear a new Burger King commercial. Apparently a little girl and her father were supposed to be driving in their car around dinnertime and the girl (surprisingly enough) wanted to eat BK. Her first method of attack was to say, in a sing-songy voice, "Daddd-eeee, my tummy is hungry." Not to be persuaded, daddy replies distractedly "I’m sorry honey, but we have to get home." At this, a voice in the little girl’s head (spoken in a different, somewhat creepy, older female voice) says something along the lines of "We’ll have to think of another approach." So after a pause, the crafty little girl’s approach is "Daddy…I love you." And because of this shameless declaration of her love (a conditional love I might add, since she knows she’s getting something out of it), daddy agrees to pull over into the next BK he sees.

What is up with that? Sometimes I wonder why I let these types of commercials bother me, but I’ve decided I’d rather be bothered by them than be indifferent. I’m not putting anyone down who eats fast food – God knows most people do at least occasionally. What I have a problem with is the rampant commercialism directed towards kids and their harried parents; they’re told that fast food is the way to go because it’s easy and quick and the way to their kid’s heart/undying love. (And let’s not forget the Big Kids Club – at least, though unfortunate, the name is actually TRUTH in advertising – let them eat that food and see them become a REALLY "big kid.")

Maybe I’m reading too much into this one commercial. It’s entirely possible – I do that sometimes. But when you take them all as a whole, and see the impact that fast food establishments have on our society and culture, they really add up. Especially when you read books like Fast Food Nation, by Eric Schlosser (a book I read over a year ago but enjoyed very much, I’d recommend it to anyone interested in the subject). If you ever wonder exactly what it is that you’re putting in your mouth (for some people on a daily basis), then it’s the book to read. I just finished reading another book the other day called The Hungry Gene: The Science of Fat and the Future of Thin, by Ellen Ruppel Shell, which is probably why I was more attuned to this commercial today then I may have been previously. I’d read this before in other books, but did you know that the amount of money allotted by the federal government to pay for nutritional education programs only amounts to around $9 million a year? That may seem like a large number unless you’ve also heard that, in contrast, Burger King spends an estimated HALF BILLION dollars on promotional efforts EVERY YEAR. And they’re just one fast food company vying for our wallets by trying to appeal to America’s expanding waistlines.

2003-05-17T21:18:00.000-04:00

GREAT MINDS DON'T ALWAYS THINK ALIKE

I like when people come up to me and say there was something they read on my website that made them think. Or that a position I took on an issue wasn’t one that they necessarily agree with, but they respect my opinion. I love that kind of feedback. I would rather bring up a controversial subject or say something that other people may not agree with than talk about boring pitter-patter or "this is what I did after work" or "can you believe so-and-so said this." Those kinds of things are included as well, but I try to strike some kind of balance. Sometimes it’s hard for me to decide if I want to take a stand on a particular issue because I know some of my "reading-audience" personally and I don’t want them to think that something I may write has anything to do with them. I think editing yourself is unavoidable, especially since something you may say or think on a particular day could just be a random thought and not something that you want associated with yourself at a later date. You may think one way and because of the input of other people’s opinions you could change your view on the subject. Or at least have a broader view.

I guess my point is that I’m glad we don’t all see the same way on a particular subject – how boring would that be? And if someone doesn’t agree and they care to make comments, then comments are always welcome as long as they aren’t presented in a demeaning way. (Not saying that there have been any so far that could be construed that way, but I don’t want to see an influx of "How stupid! What were you thinking??? Loser!") The best thing about knowing all types of people, and other people visiting this website that I’ve never met, is that there are so many different worldviews and so many insights.

2003-05-15T23:07:00.000-04:00

HOW MUCH DO I LOVE THEE?

Tonight I went into the kitchen to get my lunch ready for work tomorrow. I was grabbing this and that, taking things out of the dish drainer and putting them into the cabinets, running a wet cloth over the countertop. There was a napkin sitting on top of the toaster ("hmmm…wonder what that’s doing just sitting there?" I wonder), so I grabbed it and threw it in the trash. I made my sandwich, put it in the fridge, finished packing the rest of the stuff, and was filling up my water bottle from the jug we keep in the fridge when my 5-year-old nephew Devin walked in.

"Have you brushed your teeth yet?" Yes. "Are you still watching wrestling?" Yes. And he proceeded to fill me in on the fact that some wrestler shot his girlfriend (wife?) in real life, which his Uncle Ben had told him (my younger brother). SOOO good to know. "Have you put your tooth under your pillow yet for the tooth fairy?" He lost his second tooth tonight, the first one was just this past Monday. No, not yet, he responded. Where is it, he asks, looking around the counter. Mom put it on a napkin to dry off.

Hmmm…could that possibly be the very same napkin that I just THREW IN THE TRASH? Crap. "Uh…go back in the living room for a minute. I’ll find it." Out he goes. I open the lid of the trashcan. The napkin is right on top…but no tooth. I lift a few things but don’t see it anywhere. I close the lid and start looking around on the floor, just in case it flew across the room when I picked up the napkin. It’s not anywhere. He comes back into the room while I’m crouched down on my knees, scanning the tiles for anything that looks like a tooth (thank goodness we don’t have a white floor). What are you doing, he asks. Go back to the other room, I tell him. I see something that looks promising but when I pick it up it crumbles between my fingers. Damn it!

He leaves, and I stand up. Okay, I think, this is what I’ll do. I’ll tell him that I’ll put the tooth under his pillow after he goes to bed, and when he wakes up in the morning he’ll have his money. He won’t care where the tooth really is. It’s not like I can tell him "Uh, Aunt Zan just threw your tooth away by accident and now she can’t find it." But then my sister is sure to ask me what I did with it. In desperation I open the trashcan lid once again, carefully lift out an empty bag of frozen broccoli, a container of feta cheese that Elissa used to make pasta salad for dinner. Hold on, hold on…what’s this? It’s the size of a tooth…I pick it up and this time it’s hard and remains intact when I press it between my fingernails. All right!

Oh Devin, how much do I love thee? Enough to dig through trash looking for your tooth. Crisis averted.

2003-05-14T16:45:00.000-04:00

INSPIRATION

Dateline last night was Jane Pauley's final night on NBC, and part of the show was an interview with Michael J. Fox. The saddest thing is watching MJFox's decline into Parkinson's disease, but as sad as his change may be, it's also very admirable. Most of us can remember seeing him back in the day, fine and normal and famous. And what's so great about his struggle today is his impact on others. It must take such incredible strength of character to stand up in front of groups of people, educating them about his disease and lobbying for money to research cures, not to mention the millions that see him speaking on TV. He knows that in order to gain recognition for the disease he has to put his face and name on the cause – unfortunately, millions of other people with the disease aren't as well known as he is, so they don’t have the effect on other people’s psyche like he does.

I think the reason MJFox has such an impact is because we don't think that something can "happen to us" until it actually does. While he was in his 20’s, and on a popular television show, do you think that he ever had a passing thought that one day he’d have an incurable disease that goes from uncontrollable shaking to eventual paralysis? I can't imagine having to live with a disease that doesn't impact your mind, but where you have no control over your body. MJFox can’t talk without constantly moving around, which is weird to see when compared to the stillness of the interviewer. His jerky movements aren't considered "normal", but neither is being completely paralyzed, no matter how many steps we take to incorporate the handicapped into everyday life.

The best part of the interview was when Jane mentioned that the symptoms of Parkinson's disease are worse when the sufferer is under a lot of stress. MJFox never sits still, he goes from one thing to the next, including producing a new TV series with his wife as the star. Jane said that if she were in his shoes, she'd be more likely to take time off and conserve her energy. MJFox, with his body jerking every which way but his eyes steady and intelligent, hammered his question home: "And what would you be conserving your energy for?"

MJFox's definition of living isn't to be wrapped up in a blanket, to sit on a recliner and be coddled. At least he didn't wait to seize life until after his diagnosis – he's been doing what he loves for decades. Regardless of the fact that his symptoms may be worse with the constant stress, he's continuing on the best way he knows how, which is to do what he loves for as long as he can. Now THAT'S what I call living.

2003-05-13T21:55:00.000-04:00

PLEASE, STEP AWAY FROM THE FIREARM...

I knew a guy once who accidentally shot himself through the thigh while he was driving. I guess he (I’ll call him by his initials – JF) was trying to show off to another guy riding in the passenger seat; he brought out the gun and while he was making a turn it hit the steering wheel and fired (good thing the barrel was facing down instead of up…or to the right). Back then my friend Dana was living in an apartment; JF was a friend of her downstairs neighbors’ and was staying with them at the time. I remember going over there with her and watching JF’s only non-squeamish roommate stuff gauze into the hole that went all the way through his leg. It was kind of gruesome really, I was one of only a few who was interested enough to watch the daily procedure take place. I’m not proud of the fact that I once knew someone who was stupid/arrogant enough to brandish a loaded firearm while driving…but I’m sure all of us have known people of questionable character at some point in our lives. (Questionable character? Or stupid character? What kind of dummy shoots themselves in the leg?)

2003-05-13T18:37:00.000-04:00

LIGHTEN UP

There’s this cheesy show on the Foot Network that I caught for the first time today, called "Lighten Up!" They have these two ladies (Janette and Christina), where Christina cooks the featured food the "normal" way (read: the "fatty" way); while Janette cooks it in a way that drastically reduces the fat and calorie content. At the end of the show they compare one preparation method against the other, including the nutritional information.

The part that tripped me out about the show was when one of the women had to turn her back to put something in the oven, or walk to the refrigerator, the other woman would act as a shield. They would either stand back-to-back and walk at the same time, or Christina would hold a large baking sheet in front of Janette’s backside during the time she was turned away from the audience.

It must be something they do just to get a laugh (or at least I hope so), because both women were wearing large, oversize shirts that completely covered the part of their anatomy that they didn’t want the viewers to see. Both women were overweight, yes, but apparently the smaller of the two (Janette, the one "lightening up" the meals) has lost over 100 pounds. My thought is, would they be on TV if they were really so worried about the way they look? Are they trying to fit in with the female viewers at home, kind of like a "I feel your pain, I hate for my big butt to be on display too" kind of thing? I think it’s a good thing that the show is making an effort to show people how to prepare healthier versions of their normal fare, but the hosts have made the choice to put themselves on display. Go out there and do your job, ladies. No need to go overboard.

2003-05-11T14:40:00.000-04:00

TRIBUTE

My mom is a wonderful, down-to-earth type of person. She would rather have love and attention than for someone to spend tons of money on her. When I was growing up, all of my friends saw her a second mother and always felt comfortable going to her if they needed anything. They still look at her with fondness even now – I have one friend who lives out of state that will call her periodically just to say hi and even sent her a gift last Christmas “just because.”

I was home-schooled from second grade up until the time I was 15, when I went back to the public high school for my junior and senior year. Mom was always trying to come up with new things for us to do when we were little – I remember projects that she’d do with me and my sisters like making our own Play-Doh (I don’t remember exactly what the ingredients were, but I know it was all heated up in a pan on the stove…what a joy THAT must have been to clean up). One Christmas we cut shapes out of potatoes and then dipped them in paint, then we’d stamp them on a big roll of butcher paper to make our own gift wrap. We picked berries sometimes and would make our own jelly (this was more spur-of-the-moment though, she wasn’t the type of person to insist on glistening rows of homemade goods). Most of the food made when I was growing up was made from scratch. I don’t think we ever bought canned biscuits – only flour, baking powder, shortening, salt, milk – then mixed and rolled by hand. Even today I don’t care for biscuits unless she’s made them from scratch…they’re just not the same.

Mom never lets me leave her house without giving me a hug first, and most of the time will stand at the door or on the outside doorstep until I drive away. God forbid something should ever happen to me as I’m walking to my car, but it won’t be on my mom’s watch. My mom has always encouraged me, but never to the point of being overbearing. She told me she was proud of me when I was working full time and doing my own thing, and she still says it now that I’m back in school and getting an education. She just wants all of her kids to do whatever it is that makes us happy. I think one of the most important things for a parent to do is show unconditional support. From mom I got my acceptance of people and the ability to fit in with all different types of people, not just one “type” of group. We have a mutual dislike of confrontation and public speaking, and a mutual love of books and big words. I learned how to give advice if needed, but that most of the time the best trait is the ability to be a good listener.

Love you mom.

2003-05-10T23:20:00.000-04:00

OUR PRE-MOTHER'S DAY

This afternoon I went out shopping with my sisters. We bought mom a new outfit at the mall and this gorgeous cluster of irises that smelled up her house within minutes. We gave her the gifts today since my younger sister was visiting from out of town and had to drive back tonight. I had a great time hanging out with my sisters today; we don’t get to hang out together very often with just the three of us. It’s funny to walk around with Angela because she’s always stared at wherever she goes – she’s 5’11" and beautiful. Guys are so scandalous about it though, I guess they don’t mind how obvious they are. They’ll walk by and whistle, and twist their heads around to get a better view.

Later we all got together and took mom out for an early Mother’s day dinner at a Mexican restaurant: her and James, my grandmother who’s visiting for a few weeks from NC, me and my sisters, my two brothers, and my nephew.

A few photos from today and some that I took earlier this week at the Peaks of Otter are posted at my Yahoo Photos website, in the New Uploads folder.

2003-05-10T22:20:00.000-04:00

"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?"

Last night I went out with some friends and there was this guy there that several of them knew but hadn’t seen in a while. At one point the guy mentioned that he’d just recently been dumped by his girlfriend of two years, which prompted a discussion about who at the table is attached and who isn’t. I had pretty much only been listening at that point to what they were saying instead of joining in myself, but then the guy turned to me and asked, "So, what about you? Are you single?"

"Me?" I laughed. "I’m perpetually single." He was quiet and had a look on his face that I knew I could interpret in one of a couple of ways: 1) he was wondering WHY I am single; 2) he was wondering if there is something wrong with me that he hadn’t immediately noticed; 3) he didn’t know the meaning of the term "perpetually single." Or it could have been a combination of all of those.

The question came soon enough. "What does that mean?" he asked. So I spelled it out for him. And then came the next inevitable question: "So why are you single?" (Here’s what I WANTED to answer: "Um…maybe because I don’t want to have to define the word ‘perpetual’?") Honestly – and here’s a tip for any guy in the future who might be interested – you don’t have to be a brain surgeon, but is it too much to ask that he at least know what this word means? It seems to me that some things can be figured out by taking it in the context of the rest of the sentence, or the conversation.

2003-05-09T09:31:00.000-04:00

OH, WHAT EXCITEMENT...

We have a decent amount of malls here in Richmond. Technically we don’t need any more but the demand of the public is a powerful motivator (that, and the need for better, more "upscale" stores). This September we have not one, but TWO new malls opening in Richmond – Stony Point Fashion Park and Short Pump Town Center. I haven’t really given much thought to the fact that these developments will soon be here, but apparently my sentiments aren’t shared by everyone. Yesterday, in the bathroom at work, two girls were discussing the matter (I came in while they were already in mid-conversation):

Girl 1: I cannot WAIT until September. Have you seen the mall they’re building at Stony Point? That place is going to be HUGE! I can see it from the road when I’m driving down Chippenham Parkway.

Girl 2: I know, I’ve seen it too! And grrrrl, have you heard about the stores that are going to be there? There’s going to be a Nordstrom’s, and a Macy’s –

Girl 1: (voice going high and shrill with excitement) No, it AIN’T, no it AIN’T!! Grrrrl, I am THERE!

I just had to tune out at that point. If I have to hear a conversation like that in the future, it AIN’T going to be easy for me to keep from banging my head on the bathroom sink. Repeatedly. I can understand looking forward to something, but STILL...

2003-05-07T23:47:00.000-04:00

LYNCHBURG

Tuesday afternoon I drove to Lynchburg, after taking my last exam for the spring semester. My younger sister Angela moved to Lynchburg two months ago and I hadn’t taken the time to visit her yet; plus my good friend Deniece moved there a few weeks ago to stay with her family for a while, so I called earlier this week and made plans to see them both while I was there. I spent Tuesday afternoon and evening with Ang at her apartment, taking a break to get dinner, and then we came back and watched the un-rated version of “The Sweetest Thing” (this un-rated version was a special one done for DVD). I never saw the rated-R version so I’m not sure how much was changed, but there were a couple of raunchy performances that I figured most likely hadn’t been included in the original movie.

Tuesday night I met up with Deniece when she got off work, and we stayed up until after 3am talking. We don’t get to see each other as much as we’d like, so whenever we get together we end up talking into the wee hours of the morning. This morning we woke up early, around 8:15, because we’d decided to take advantage of the beautiful day and go hiking in the mountains (in Bedford, VA, about 20 minutes outside of Lynchburg). They have this place there in the Blue Ridge mountains called the Peaks of Otter, where you can climb a 1.5-mile trail to the top…it’s a spectacular view. 1.5 miles doesn’t seem very long, but this particular trail is really steep – it’s pretty much straight uphill the entire way. It took us about an hour to get to the top, so we stayed up there for about 20 minutes or so before heading back down. It’s much easier on the heart-rate going down the mountain of course, but it’s rougher on the knees since the terrain is so steep. Plus having to watch our footing (gotta love hiking in rubber-soled sneakers!). It was really fun though…I’d been to the Peaks of Otter a few times with my family when I was younger, but it had been a really long time.

2003-05-04T15:19:00.000-04:00

WEB PICKS

WEEK-LONG DIARY OF A BEIJING RESIDENT
Most weeks, Slate.com will feature a diarist who will write a piece Monday-Friday about their particular profession or field of interest. They’re usually pretty interesting, and this past week’s diarist was a woman by the name of June Shih. She’s a former speechwriter for Bill and Hillary Clinton when they were in the White House, and has been living in China for the past year. She writes about SARS and the impact it’s having on everyday life there in Beijing. This link is to Monday’s post, and the other day’s links are located at the top of the page.

PHILANTHROPIC GENIUS
It’s hard not to be jealous of someone who is so darn smart. But this 13-year-old genius seems pretty down to earth about his accomplishments, and his plans to save the world come from his desire to help people. Very impressive.

THE FUTURE OF FOOD
NY Times article about how scientists are always trying to make things different or “better” in our food choices. Since by nature our bodies are only able to handle a certain amount of food per year, they have to come up with new and innovative ways to sell their products. Organic and natural foods aren’t big money-makers for them, which is why we’re constantly being inundated with new products and ready-to-eat and overly-processed junk. But now that consumers (at least some of them) are demanding more nutritious choices, the food companies have to fill that need and figure out a way to make money at the same time.

MARK MORFORD
I don’t always agree with all of Mark Morford’s opinions, but I like his point in this article. He says the more fear that you can be made to feel, the more likely you are to buy into things that you normally wouldn’t (like a war). In his words: “Here is the basic formula: The more They get you to ignore and detach from and hurl sticks of dismissive ignorance at that divine interconnectedness, the more you feed the common tyranny of fear, the collective cultural moan, and the easier it is for corporations and the government and the masters of televised dread to convince you to buy into, say, a noxious war. Or toxic fast food. Or ultraviolent entertainment. Or Celine Dion.” Unfortunately we “share in the massive force-fed belief that we are here to devour as much as possible, as quickly as possible, and blow the living crap out of everything that gets in our way.” How do we achieve this? “You gotta get off your ass. You gotta question everything. You gotta see the world anew, always, every moment, to progress and evolve…” And the final question: “But, really, when you get right down to it, what else is there?” So true. It doesn’t matter what steps you take to achieve this, I think it would different for every person and what they believe in or feel comfortable with. Just do it. Don’t let the mass media and people only interested in getting your money and selling you whatever they can dictate your life.

2003-05-03T21:17:00.000-04:00

TELEMARKETERS

I was watching a show on TV the other night, one of those news shows like Dateline or PrimeTime or something. They were talking about telemarketing and how it’s such a huge multi-billion dollar business. There have been some restriction laws proposed to hopefully curb some of this insanity, including a federal do-not-call list in place by this fall, so we’ll see if that helps.

The show I watched was talking about the different ways that telemarketing companies can get information about you for their databases. One way is through your bank. Get a loan through them, within a few weeks all these other offers start flooding into your mailbox. Hmmm...wonder how that happened? They said that banks can sell your info without your permission because there aren’t any laws against it right now. I think that’s a load of crap. They said if banks were forced to ask permission to release our personal information to outside companies, that the cost would be astronomical and it would force them to raise rates.

This one company that buys the information and uses it to contact you has a database of over 200 MILLION people. Someone that worked there sat down and typed in the interviewing-reporter’s name at a computer. Up came all types of information: his address, phone numbers, where he lived, type of household, the value of his home. And this reporter didn’t like it any better than anyone else would. His response at seeing all this information displayed on the screen: "I don’t think I’m comfortable with the idea that you guys have all this information about me." Who would be?

I despise telemarketers. Okay…maybe not as people. I’m sure some of them must be decent human beings. But I can think of many professions that I would take part in before I agreed to have a phone hung up in my face over…and over…and over. For instance, I would rather re-shelve books all day at a library. (I love read, but that would definitely be boring.) I would rather work at McDonalds and flip hamburgers, or dip baskets of frozen fries to be submerged in oil. I would prefer that job even though I don’t eat meat (occasionally seafood, but not anything else). Also, I don’t eat French fries. I don’t like greasy foods. The last time I had a few fries from a friend’s plate about a month ago, it felt like the grease coated the inside of my mouth and I couldn’t get rid of the taste for hours. I might even consent to (*gasp*) work in a daycare center before agreeing to be a telemarketer. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with working in a daycare if you like being around kids. But I don’t. And I don’t think the kids would like me very much…I don’t like playing games, so I wouldn’t play with them. They’d probably fire me after a few days, but that would be okay…I’m sure McDonalds would be glad to have me. From my past experiences the employees all seem to be pretty rude so I’d fit right in.

But my point is, I would still rather do all of that than be a telemarketer. I work on the phone for a living, the difference being the customer’s choice to contact us, not vice versa. I’m not infringing on anybody’s personal time and sanity, calling at my own convenience rather than the person I happen to reach on the phone.

2003-04-29T23:39:00.000-04:00

PRESENTING...

I made it through the presentation this afternoon with my nerves pretty much intact. I hate being in front of people. I will do mostly anything to avoid that type of situation. I think it helped that the format was very low-key, and I’d prepared everything I needed to say beforehand, which always helps. The girl that I was partnered with did a really good job with our poster, and I got compliments on both of the foods that I brought in (yaaaaayyyy!).

I think with me and public speaking, I know HOW it’s supposed to be done, but I tend to lose track too easily. In the beginning of my speech I was fine because everything I wanted to say was going smoothly – I had notes in front of me but I was paraphrasing in my own words and not reading directly off the paper. Then something as simple as a sentence that I stumbled over, where I was trying to explain something that I knew in my HEAD but couldn’t find the right words for, just threw my concentration off. I finished okay but it wasn’t the same; I could hear my voice change and get shaky. I think if I didn’t get so nervous, I wouldn’t be all that bad in getting up in front of people because technically I have an idea of how it should be done. Say things that get your audience’s attention. Project your voice. (There were people going up there who didn’t seem nervous at all but they were just BORING – who wants to hear someone reading words directly off a paper – and in a monotone at that?) Personalize what you say. Throw in something random and unexpected if possible. Who wants to hear about the average temperatures in Guatemala? That’s not the type of information that people will remember five minutes later.

2003-04-29T00:28:00.000-04:00

ZAN COOKS

I just finished making some damn good Mexican rice pudding (well not just finished, it was about an hour and a half ago, but still). Those who know me know that I don’t cook very often, but I must say that when I put my mind to it the results are usually pretty good. At least I know how to follow directions – which to me sounds like a pretty easy requirement, but apparently some people find it difficult. Most of the time I just choose not to make the effort, as it does require a bit of time (especially when you’re not familiar with the recipe).

This recent cooking foray is for my final Spanish class tomorrow; we had to pick a country and get in groups of two to make a presentation to the rest of the class. My partner and I will take turns talking, she’s in charge of our visuals (pictures and poster board), and I volunteered to do the cooking. I’m also making guacamole but I can’t finish putting that together until tomorrow (guacamole has to be made and then served pretty much right away, apparently because avocados start to darken soon after being cut up – new information to me!…this will be my first guacamole experience as well). I’m just worried about the avocados because they’re not as ripe as I’d like; I put them in a paper bag on the counter so hopefully that will hasten the ripening process a little bit before tomorrow morning (thanks for the tip, sis!).

Can I just go back to the rice pudding for a second, and say that it took much longer to make than I thought because after you cook the rice, you have to add all this milk and then heat it slllloooowwwllllyyy until it thickens in consistency? It took a good 45 minutes, minimum, if not longer. And at least the last 30 minutes of that cooking time I was stirring it constantly (per the directions – I wasn’t taking any chances with doing something wrong, not when my grade is resting on the food that I bring in!). But it’s all done now, and it turned out good, so that’s all that matters. Now I’ll be set not to cook anything else from scratch for another six months (or three years? who’s counting….?).

2003-04-26T14:43:00.000-04:00

TYPICAL CRAZY FRIDAY

I was driving behind a white truck yesterday, when a phrase written on the back tailgate, in big, bold, black letters caught my eye: "Let’s Talk Dirty." The power of advertising – choose something catchy so that the people who see your ad will wonder what the company is about, when otherwise they may not have given it a second thought. The slogan worked, because as I passed the truck I looked at the company’s name on the drivers-side door: Clean Sweep Chimney Service. It reminded me of an ad that my aunt told me about last year when I was living in California – a local sewage company in her town used the slogan: "We’re #1 in the #2 Business."

While on the phone at work, a customer brought up the topic (now I don’t remember why) of those handles that are located in some cars above the windows. I’m not sure the handles have a purpose other than the obvious, which is to grab onto for leverage (if so needed). The reason I thought it was funny at the time was because this customer referred to them as "Jesus handles." When I questioned his use of the term, he replied, "You know, because of what you yell when you have to grab on to them: ‘Oh Jesus!’" This made perfect sense to me because a few years ago one of my friends introduced me to THEIR name for them: "Oh s**t handles." Because of course, when you grab on to them, the phrase that comes to mind tends to be: "Oh s**t, oh s**t!" Except I kept this to myself in this particular instance, as I didn’t think it was an appropriate term to be sharing with a customer over the phone.

It was raining hard when I left work, so the visibility was pretty bad. Unfortunately, the visibility wasn’t bad enough for me to miss the view of the tow-truck driver loading up a disabled car at a busy intersection. I was waiting in my lane to make a left, and the tow truck was on my right in the very next lane. As the driver bent over to secure the car to his vehicle, his shirt rode up, revealing at least the entire upper half of that crack that’s not supposed to see the light of day. It was not a pretty sight.

2003-04-25T10:17:00.000-04:00

This is just the perfect example of how short life is, and how helpless we really are when it comes to our destiny. This man was fishing, enjoying some nice leisurely time with a friend, and…BAM! He’s struck and killed by a 600-pound boulder. Not murdered in a bad part of town, not mangled in a car accident, not burned alive in a fire…a boulder.

2003-04-22T21:23:00.000-04:00

"DON’T TAKE MY PICTURE!…"

This afternoon I was driving home from class, and I thought about how beautiful it is outside right now, with spring still here and the heat of summer a few months off. I wish that I had my digital camera with me, but it’s not a surprise to me that I didn’t. I have a theory about the different ways people see me when I’m carrying a camera (and this can go for anyone, not just myself). I’m either seen as a 1) tourist, with 2) suspicion, or 3) just generally unwelcome.

1) The term "tourist" automatically brings up an image of a pot-bellied man in a foreign country, complete with a Hawaiian shirt and a camera attached to a strap around his neck. This is probably why I avoid taking my camera along to new places, even when I want to. I don’t think I necessarily care that people would label me a tourist, but then again I suppose I DO care to a certain extent, if I’m letting that negative connotation determine my actions.

2) I took my camera to work one day because I wanted to take a picture of the trees that border the parking lot. I don’t know what kind of trees they are, but for a week or two each spring they’re covered with brilliant while blooms until they fall off and are replaced by normal green leaves. Very beautiful. Anyway, so as I stand there with my camera, some random people walking through the parking lot happen to see me standing there. I’m like whatever, I don’t care, but I can see the suspicion on their faces. "What’s up with her? What is she doing? She’d better not get a picture of ME with that thing." That’s right, when I scroll through the pictures later on the computer that I’ve taken, I REALLY want to see some random sour-faced call center employee.

3) I don’t think that most people really care when their picture is taken, they just don’t want to ADMIT that they don’t care. If you don’t have a job as a fashion model, where your job is to be photographed for a living, then it seems to be more acceptable to cower away when a camera is presented. Either that, or show indifference ("I suppose so…"). My younger sister is a good example of the "cower" approach, when I don’t honestly think she minds. "Don’t take my picture!…" she’ll say, while at the same time pausing in whatever she’s doing to cock her head to a more flattering angle (and of course, flash a smile). There are, of course, those people who never seem to have a decent photo taken of them (my mom being one of those where, in most shots, her eyes are fully or half-closed).

For all the photos that we take where they are expected and posed, the best ones are the candid shots. How else would we catch those haunting photographs, with the far-off look in a person’s eye when caught unaware? And untold numbers can look at a photo for decades, and wonder what was going on in the mind of the subject at that particular moment in time. A moment that was there once and will never be again. I think I may start to become more annoying in the future. Cower all you want.

2003-04-20T22:36:00.000-04:00

More of Mark Morford’s opinions on the war. I like how he tells it the way he sees it. His views, though they may not be exactly like everyone else’s, at least give a different perspective – and, I admit, some new information and things to think about before just going along with a more passive view.

NY Times article about how London has made improvements in the amount of traffic in their overpopulated city. Could it happen in New York? This article says not likely, because the mayor who tries to pass stricter laws on the amount of cars in the city (by raising rates, for instance) would essentially be committing political career suicide.

2003-04-16T22:55:00.000-04:00

SOMETIMES IT JUST HAPPENS ALL AT ONCE

It didn’t start out as a crazy day. It just became that way these past few hours. Just out-of-the-ordinary things that don’t normally all happen right at once. (Gotta LOVE when that happens, right? Shake life up a little bit…)

First off, I really like my Wednesday night American Lit class, but as I’ve said before the professor likes to keep us there up until the very last minute. The class is from 7-9:40pm, and by the time I walked across the parking lot tonight back to my car and turned on the ignition (thereby illuminating the clock), it was exactly 9:45. Can’t get much closer than that. Anyway, so this professor is a real character. He’s in his late fifties; balding, close-cropped white hair and a white beard; large belly. He tends to ramble when he talks. One of the stories he told us tonight is a good example of his character. He told us about this past January 1st, around 1am, so it was just past New Year’s Eve. He and his wife live across the street from a church, and his wife happened to look out the window and see these two cars side-by-side in the parking lot at that early hour of the morning, and thought that a drug deal must be going on. So she called the cops. By the time two police cars arrive, one from each direction of the road at the same time, it has become apparent that the people in these two cars are not drug dealers. They are buck naked, yes, "going at it" on the hood of one of the cars (the professor said it must have been the warmest place they could think of at the moment, as being January in Virginia it was a pretty cold night). The police arrive, the woman jumps off the car and cowers behind the car (hmmm…he never did mention what the guy did). That was the end of the story. And no, it probably didn’t have anything to do with the author we were talking about at the time, but well…okay, enough about that.

Two messages on my cell phone after class. Three messages on the home phone, but I don’t find that out until a little bit later of course. Two of the three messages on the home phone were from the guy that I talked about here on 4/1/03. There is some kind of dire emergency going on that I need to return his call very soon, but the second message said that he and his girlfriend are staying with someone where it wasn’t a good idea to call after 10pm, so to call tomorrow. As I didn’t get the call until around 10:15, I haven’t called him back. To tell the truth, I didn’t return any of the calls. I’ll have plenty of time tomorrow. I hope everything’s okay.

When I walked in, nobody was home, so I’m turning on the lights and trying to get settled. All I want to do is take my contacts out, change into some comfortable clothes. I move next to the coffee table in the middle of the floor and pick up the remote to turn it to some news channel (I like having the TV on in the background when I’m doing other things, even if I’m not sitting down watching it). Elissa’s cat jumps up on the coffee table and starts rubbing his head against the leg of my jeans, so I’m absentmindedly scratching the cat’s ears with my left hand, the television remote is in my right hand, and at the same time I’m shrugging off my backpack, my purse, and the lunch bag that I took to work today. At this moment the cat decides to go spastic and LEAPS from the coffee table onto the front of my shirt, hanging there by her claws until I knock her away. What’s up with THAT? This is why I don’t like cats. Too unpredictable.

So then I finally put my stuff away and change my clothes, and go into the bathroom to take out my contacts. That’s where I see a note from my dad, who must have been here earlier in the evening to drop off my brothers. (They’re on spring break this week from school so they spent a few days out of town with him in Buckingham. He’ll drop them off at me and my sister’s house and then one of us will take them back to mom’s later.) The note was written on the first available paper-y surface, which was a piece of toilet paper, torn off and spread out to display the message: "Hello Zan. I love U. Dad." Too cute. Somewhat off-the-wall, but cute. Oh well, at least it was unexpected.

2003-04-15T18:12:00.000-04:00

COMMERCIALISM

The other day on TV, a prominent toy store was advertising their deals on toys...for the upcoming EASTER holiday. I think commercialism really goes too far, especially when they appeal to an impressionable group like kids. Kids start thinking that because it’s a holiday, they’re automatically owed something. TV tells them this is the case, and when the mass media says this is what we need because by golly it’s a HOLIDAY AND WE MUST CELEBRATE, then subsequently parents/teachers/lovers must follow or else deal with the questions. ("What? You’re parents didn’t get you anything for Easter? What’s WRONG with them? Are they human? Do they really love you?")

The huge corporations are only too eager to go along, which is easily apparent in those aisles at Wal-Mart dedicated to the nearest upcoming event – currently, piles of oversized pastel-colored bunnies; cheap plastic baskets filled with who-knows-what (or who-really-cares?); and…the candy. Chocolate of every imaginable type, enclosed in shells like M&Ms or molded into Cadbury Eggs or the required hollow chocolate bunny. Jelly beans. Peeps.

There is nothing wrong with candy. I think that everyone should have candy if they want it. But geez, go out and buy candy for yourself or your kids because you want to, or because you’re having a craving for a caramel-filled egg, not just because it’s Easter. (Oh, that’s right – I almost forgot. It’s perfectly okay because…it’s a holiday. Silly me.) Why is it, when I think of Easter, that I automatically get a picture in my head of some bratty kid stuffing their face with the last remnants of their Easter basket? Moderation. More people need to learn the meaning.

I have to go now. I’m off to get my picture taken with Mr. Easter Bunny at the mall.

2003-04-11T22:45:00.000-04:00

LET'S TALK ABOUT WAR

There are still other sides to this war. Even though the protests have slowed, that doesn't mean that the support is all there. Mark Morford gives us his view. Check out this link that he gives in his most article, for those who haven't seen it yet, it details the Project for the New American Century. Is everything really a big conspiracy? Is there anything that we can believe anymore? I'd rather be cynical than naive though. It's hard for me to listen to a lot of the stuff they say on the news because I'm constantly wondering if it's the whole story. The news networks edit stories into just as much as they want us to know. Look at that reporter in Iraq, who was reporting for both National Geographic Explorer and the NBC/MSNBC families. He granted an interview with an Iraqi television station where he gave his personal point of view, and because the networks didn't agree with his statements and felt he shouldn't have done so, he was fired. I'm not saying he was in the right for what he did, because of course reporters are supposed to be objectionable. But it just seems kind of extreme. "Don't give us your own opinion if it happens to differ from what we want the U.S. public to hear."

While we're on the subject, let's hear it for all the people taking advantage of the war to earn some more money.

2003-04-09T17:52:00.000-04:00

WHAT A WASTED MORNING

I had an appointment scheduled this morning in Charlottesville with the surgeon that operated on my back. (For those who don’t know, I had surgery in late July 2001 to correct a curve in my spine with steel rods.) It was just for a check-up, I haven’t had any problems, but I figured since the last time I saw him he’d asked me to come back after a certain period of time just to make sure everything was going okay, that he’d at least want to take some x-rays. Nope. I drove 70 miles one way to sit in the waiting room for 15 minutes, get my height/weight checked, and then the doctor came in and talked to me for about 10 minutes. I don’t have anything bad to say about this doctor, he’s a really great guy and I’ve never had any problems with my back since the operation. But REALLY now…if there wasn’t a purpose to me driving an hour to see him, just to be asked if everything was going okay, and he didn’t see the need to have any new x-rays taken to compare against my old ones…why do they even ask me to come back? It’s not like I wouldn’t call them if something DID come up. At least during this visit he didn’t say anything about coming back again. Because I would have been like, “WHAT FOR?” Oh well, I guess it’s better to drive around a little bit and pay my $15 co-pay, have a nice chat with the doctor, than to go there and have some bad news. (Like “OH MY GOD – IMMEDIATE SURGERY IS NEEDED TO CORRECT THIS HORRIBLE THING THAT WE JUST FOUND OUT!”) Hey, you never know.

So he asked how I was doing, asked after my mom (she accompanied me to several pre-op appointments that I had with him and he knows how nervous she was about the process – in fact, she was more nervous than I was and I was the one who was having the surgery!). He also was duly impressed with the fact that I can now not only touch my toes (a request that I’ve been asked to perform every time I’ve seen him), but past my toes, which is the first time I’ve been able to do so since we met years ago. Because of the way my spine was curved, the closest I was able to get to my toes (pre-surgery) was about a foot away.

2003-04-08T23:10:00.000-04:00

HOW DO YOU GET TO ME?

There’s this place I can go to online and see what kind of things people search for in order to reach my site. I hadn’t visited it in a while before the other day, because usually there aren’t many interesting things on it. Since most of the traffic on this site (at least the first few months) was from family and friends that I had shared the web address with, and those people that THEY had given the address to, most of the links showed that they were coming from personal computers and direct bookmarks. (No, I can’t see specific information like who in particular is logging on, or from where, or anything like that.) What the information shows is how they got to my website, if they linked to mine from ANOTHER site, like a search engine for instance. Now that I’ve been blogging for 6-7 months, I have enough archived information and keywords that internet search engines will sometimes display my site when someone goes in and searches for something that match some keywords that I included in my writing.

So for instance, I can tell how some people linked to my site, using the search engines Google, Yahoo, and AOL Search as the major ones. I got the most links when I wrote about the space shuttle Colombia disaster, when I mentioned the singer Pink, when I talked about Devin’s "Spongebob Squarepants" costume he had for Halloween, the entry about license plates (remember "PEFEXUN?"), and even some for the link I included about the hot sauce bearing Tonya Harding’s name.

Here are some of the other keywords used by people during their online searches, when they made their way to my site (with the original spelling and capitalization):

"employees" "casino morongo"
los angeles "ride the bull" "sunset strip" bars
plastic license plate holder with cute sayings
texas license plate with spaceshuttle on it
Spanish vanity license plates
"Christina Aguilera" mormon
pigsass
madisons bar grill westwood
Madisons+Westwood
Zandria Paris
Zandria Black
keep up resolution
keep me for a day
the ordinary work day
"beautiful snow" "damn snow"
2003 customers opinion of zan s a
school zone WA speeding ticket
Spongebob Math Homework Books

My favorites:

amber trying to lift me
girl died finding spongebob
damn creek buckingham virginia
tonya harding's butt in pictures

2003-04-06T13:16:00.000-04:00

I got my baby back on Friday, after being in the body shop for five days. Now she’s as good as new…well, everything except for the license plate itself. I figured since it had gotten all bent-up that they would just leave it off, but apparently they have something that flattens it out because it was back on the front when I picked up my car. It just looks kind of funky. Newly-painted bumper and ghetto-looking license plate? Doesn’t fit.
When I got home on Friday, Elissa came in shortly after I did. When I heard the front door open I yelled from another room: “My baby’s back!”

Silence. “What baby are you talking about?”

“Hel-lo. My baby. In the driveway.”

As if there’d be any other?

*****************************************************

Yesterday afternoon I went my friends Chris M. and Chris E. to the Canal Walk in downtown Richmond. I’d heard about it before and seen the signs, and I’ve known a few people who have checked it out, but I’d never been before. It was a gorgeous day, perfect for spending outdoors (before I left to go there I’d been at my brother Isaac’s Little League game at his school). I think the total loop we went on ended up being over 3 miles, so we were pretty tired by the time it was over. It was interesting though, and good exercise – you have to walk up and down all these steps at various intervals, and at the end we went over this bridge that crossed the James River. At that point it turned into a separate hiking trail that you could follow to go to some Civil-war era cemetery, but we turned around before reaching it. Thanks to Chris for letting me borrow a pair of sneakers before we left his house, my dumb ass had arrived in flat sandals – it would have been much tougher walking (including sore feet) if I hadn’t changed.

2003-04-01T23:01:00.000-05:00

DRAMA

Are certain people genetically disposed to have drama happen in their lives? Or, depending on the way we choose to live our lives, maybe drama is just destined to follow? I say this because I talked with a friend of mine on the phone tonight, and this guy has just had one thing after another happen to him his entire life. I won’t go into any personal detail, but I’ll suffice it to say that I’ve seen him through more than one rough time, and I know he thinks of me as one of his best friends. That’s all we’ve ever been – friends (he’s always teased me that I would never date him anyway because he’s shorter than I am) – but I’ve known him for about six years now, and I’ve seen him through several failed relationships and various life dramas. I remember clearly the night I got a phone call from him (summer of ’98 to be exact, because I was living with my mom at the time, it was after my freshman year at VCU and shortly before I moved back to Richmond to live with Elissa and Devin). The love of his life had broken up with him for another man (in retrospect, a man that she’s been happily married to for about four years now), and he was so distraught that he was close to suicide. To this day I can remember sitting on the closed toilet seat in my mom’s bathroom, for privacy, with the door shut and the phone pressed to my ear as he alternately sobbed and railed against the injustices of life. I had just turned 18. I felt helpless; I didn’t know what to say to him. But I did listen; I was there for him and I told him that regardless of what he thought, his life was important. Luckily, he made it through that time. Since then, and to his credit, he’s made it through multiple times. He even lived with Elissa and myself for a few months back in ’99, at a time when he was getting back on his feet. He would baby-sit for Devin some nights when Elissa worked. For the past few years, he’s been doing really well. He even got married, had a child….and then he and the mother of his daughter separated. She doesn’t want him to have visitation. She doesn’t like the girl that he’s seeing now…and because of various complicated situations that have happened in the past few weeks, my friend is once again "on the run." All that he’d gained the past few years, working in one place and gaining possessions and stability…gone once again. He’s had to start over from scratch in the past. Personally, I really can’t fathom having to do that. It’s one thing to move to another part of the country, away from people you know and what you’re accustomed to, but giving up what you’ve gained and having to start all over must (at least sometimes) seem insurmountable. I know he can do it, because he’s done it before. I wish he didn’t have to; I wish he wasn’t faced with this current situation. I’ve been worried about him since last week, when I first heard from someone else that he’d left his house. He called me tonight and let me know that he’s okay, he’s back in a place he’s been to in the past and for now he’s doing all right, looking for a job and all that.

So…why is it? Do we bring drama upon ourselves, with the choices we make in life, or with some people does it just follow along behind them, waiting at any moment to rear its ugly head? I know, probably a little bit of both, it just depends on the person or the particular situation. Unfortunately there are never any easy answers. I wish there were. Some people just don’t deserve the hard times they’ve had to go through.

2003-03-28T22:10:00.000-05:00

RANDOM OBSERVATIONS

Seen on a coworker’s desk this afternoon: sandwich, full-calorie soda, Big Grab bag of Cheesy Doritoes….and a can of Slim-Fast. This very same coworker had made a comment to me that very morning (after seeing me heating up my oatmeal for breakfast in the break room), "I wish I ate as healthy as you do." Slim-Fast is intended as a meal substitute. It is not meant to be consumed IN ADDITION to your normal lunch – let’s start with that.

This afternoon, I talked to Neil Bush, who lives in Florida. No, not THAT Neil Bush (successful businessman, younger brother to George W., President, and Jeb, Governor of Florida), though of course the thought did cross my mind. I think it would suck to have the same name as a famous person. Can you imagine how annoying that would be? All the stupid jokes that you’d have to hear over and over. "Hey Neil, your niece staying out of rehab?" or "Yo – Neil – how’s your brother enjoying Camp David this weekend?"

Driving home after work, I passed a guy mowing his front lawn. Riding lawnmower? Nope. Push mower? Well yes…but not the one that automatically comes to mind. This guy was mowing his front lawn with a MANUAL push lawnmower. No motor for him, no sir. He was using his elbow grease to push the blades through the grass. I think Dad owned one of those at some point when I was younger, but I don’t remember him actually ever using it on our big yard. Crazy thing to see, especially in town, right in front of a house bordering a busy road.

I have an appointment Monday morning to take my car in and have the front bumper fixed (painted and the license-plate holder replaced), from when that delinquent pulled out in front of me a few weeks ago. It’s taken so long because this delinquent failed to give me his policy number, and (I believe intentionally) the wrong number for his insurance agent, so MY insurance company had to run a tag-check on the license plate number that I’d written down off of his car the day that it happened. (Thank God I got that at least, I’ll definitely be more thorough if this ever happens to me in the future.) My insurance company hunted him down, contacted HIS company, and after I told them my story and they called my witness (a nice lady driving behind me at the time who saw the whole thing), they finally have to pay up. So I get my car fixed, plus a rental for a few days while they’re repairing my baby. Serves his deceitful, no-good, skanky-ass right…

You know how you feel trapped in staying with one cell phone company – maybe you know you can get a better deal elsewhere – but you don’t want to switch because you don’t want to have to change your phone number? Well, in the near future that will all change. Federal regulations will soon require cell phone companies to allow a telephone number to be permanently attached to one person if they so desire, allowing us to choose whichever service provider that we want. This article tells some details, along with the fact that maybe our rates will get better too…companies will have to work harder to keep our business because they’ll know that we’re no longer tied down to staying with them just because we want to keep our phone number.

2003-03-26T23:39:00.000-05:00

TWINKIES AND CHINA

I had a 7-9:40 class tonight and the teacher kept us right up until the end. It’s not that he’s a dick about using every last minute; he’s pretty interesting and it’s only a once-a-week class so I know he feels like he has to fit everything in that he needs to say. He just has a tendency to go off the subject a lot, which wouldn’t be so bad if we weren’t sitting there for over 2.5 hours. I had to fight off yawns and force myself to keep my eyes open – I definitely prefer my daytime classes.

So in lieu of anything else to write about right now, here are two WEB PICKS:

The first is a funny, inconsequential read, I don’t even remember where I found it. It’s called "In Defense of Twinkies;" it talks a little bit about the Hostess factory, their 73-year staying power and how they initially came about back in 1930. I don’t even eat Twinkies or other Hostess snacks but it was kind of interesting.

The second is funny, but not in a ha-ha way. Kind of in a sad way. Beijing, China was picked to be the site of the 2008 Olympic Games and they’re already preparing. By cleaning up the city, enforcing fines for things they want people to stop doing (like spitting out their gum on public streets, throwing out dirty water), and making other things better…but at a public expense (for instance nicer – but more expensive – taxicabs). Most of these things are yes, probably better and more sanity (like the regulation that all new restaurants must now have bathroom facilities). But the question for me is, aren’t these the things that make Beijing…Beijing? The appeal of foreign countries/people/customs is that they are different from us. Oh that’s right, we just have to "Americanize" everything.

2003-03-24T20:47:00.000-05:00

WHO AM I?

I'm a quiet person. Unassertive. Unassertive when it comes to most things at least. If I believe in something strongly enough I can get my point across, but I think most people tend to be like that. Most of the time I don't worry about this particular character trait, except for those instances where I feel like my inability to be assertive is holding me back. This would include things such as moving up at work (scared of interviews), relationships (is it worth the trouble?), and making decisions about my future (should I or shouldn't I?).

I guess I consider myself a minimalist. I don't like a lot of clutter. My cube at work isn't a junk pile that would take four boxes to transport if it needed to be moved (yes, my department at work is in the process of relocating our cubes right now and yes, some people have numerous boxes to transport). I try not to keep too many unnecessary things (an exception to this would be some clothes in my closet, I still have a hard time giving away things I know are nice, even if I haven't worn them in over a year). I don't hold on to knick-knacks unless they're from my childhood, and I've never collected anything.

It's been my perception over the years that quiet people are either seen as "stuck up" or "too nice." If you're quiet, generally polite, tend to do what's asked of you, and don't make any waves or challenge authority then you're "too nice." I can see why people would think that, and I guess I'd rather be seen as nice than the opposite. But being "nice" isn't always the entire picture. If a nice person suddenly became more assertive then would they not be considered "nice" anymore? How many times do you have to challege the status quo, or how high a person of rank do you have to offend to offially lose the standing of "nice"?

I am not nice to everybody. And I don't feel guilty about saying that, because most people aren't but they don't come right out and say it. I write what I feel, it's easier for me to speak my mind and think of exactly what I want to say when I don't have to do it orally. Everybody who knows me well knows that this is true. Today I was trying to think of a term to describe the reason that I don't take more chances. I came up with disinterested. I am not disinterested with life, but if I look at a situation and I don't think I have enough interest in it to be assertive, then I won't. I guess technically by being that way I make more decisions than I previously thought. I choose my battles and I choose the instances in which I want to make a stand. I choose when to speak up. I don't feel the need to speak up over things that I don't believe are important. If, in being that way, some people who don't know me and who I only say "hi" to in passing a few times a week, feel more comfortable in labeling me as "too nice", then that's their perogative. Maybe one day I'll finally find that something that really matters and my years of cumulative disinterest will knock their socks off.

2003-03-19T23:23:00.000-05:00

LET’S GET IT ON

It has begun. I came home from class tonight and turned on the tv, then immediately connected to the internet. I don’t normally follow "breaking news" stories very closely, but this is an exception – as I’m sure it is to many, many other people as well.

I found this link on MSNBC’s "Weblog Central" (with the date of March 19, 2003), about a guy in Baghdad who is keeping up a weblog. I’ve only had the chance to read a few of the recent entries, but it looks interesting. It talks of businesses closing and boarding-up, the currency turning to shit, prices rising. What a unique perspective for us to have, not just the detached views of seasoned journalists, but someone who is on the frontline of the war zone: "Will I be bombed in my sleep tonight?"

2003-03-18T22:04:00.000-05:00

COUNTDOWN

I was going to say that the worse thing right now is the waiting. The waiting to know what will happen when we go to war, when it will be, wondering what kind of events we’ll either have to hear about happening in distant places or live through ourselves.

But the worst thing is not the waiting. Yes, to wait is frustrating. It causes stress. It makes us feel helpless. We may wonder if there is anything else we should be doing, rather than going about our normal routines. The reason the worst thing is not the waiting is because it’s not comprehendible to compare a waiting period to what we may be looking forward to in the near future. While things are at a standstill, nothing bad is happening.

It’s easy to think of war as something far-off, as long as it stays that way – far off. In a corner of the world removed from our own, not just in distance but in tradition, culture, political views.

In the midst of this, everyone is so concerned about everything going on as "normal." The Oscars? The show must go on. We can’t let something as important as a war and death and dying keep us from our entertainment. We must gawk at the celebrities and see what they’ve decided to wear – not that they had to pay for those designer clothes themselves of course. The nominees and presenters get Oscar gift baskets worth in excess of $20,000. Apiece. I read a report today that said the Oscars would go on regardless of the situation in the world; if need be they would interrupt the program with periodic news updates. What is it the President said after 9-11, in reference to the drop-off in consumer spending and travel? If we stop doing what is normal, then the terrorists have won? "IF WE CANCEL THE OSCARS THEN SADDAM HAS WON!!!" But who are the ones putting up this campaign of "the Oscars must go on"? Could it possibly be the movie industries, whose already popular and well-known award-winning movies are set to earn millions and millions more once their star (or the film itself) is recognized with a golden statue?

Where are our priorities? I don’t think that Americans should be miserable, stop having fun, stop reading the gossip columns, take their leave from shopping and dancing and laughing. God forbid. But seeing things literally PUSHED on us, that’s another story.

Tonight when I was watching the news I couldn’t help but think about the American history class I’m taking right now in school, where we talked about WWI and now we’re learning about WWII. What would the people that lived back then think of our "smart bombs" that have "pinpoint accuracy?" What would they think of our "experts" on TV, with their "possible war strategies" and the questions they pose like "What will it take for the U.S. to capture the capital city of Baghdad?" The news today is ALL about the war, it’s all over everything. But it’s not just updates and facts, it’s interviews with those "experts" and journalists in dangerous foreign locales and catchy slogans. I’m writing this right now in my bedroom, with MSNBC (my current news source of choice) on the television in the background. Does it go too far when that news channel’s "Countdown: Iraq" includes a digital clock in the right corner of the screen, counting down the remainder of the 48-hour deadline mandated by the President in his speech last night?

2003-03-16T16:56:00.000-05:00

DRIVING SCHOOL

Yesterday, on the one day a week that I have off from both work and classes, I had to go to driving school. Fun, fun day. Can you think of ANYTHING more exciting than spending 8 hours in a room with 30 people who want to be there about as much as you do? The class in itself wasn’t difficult, as long as we didn’t 1) fall asleep, 2) come back late from our breaks, or 3) cause a disturbance. There was a 15-question T/F quiz at the end of the day, where you had to get at least 12 correct in order to pass the class, but we were allowed to use our notes – I don’t think anybody even missed one. Throughout the day, while we were watching the multiple videos, the instructor would pause it at some point and say, “Okay, you guys need to know this. Write this down.” So dutifully we would pick up our pens and write down what he said: “Always look in the rearview mirror before braking.” “A green light is not a guaranteed safe rite of passage through an intersection, it is only permission to proceed.” “Reduce speed by 30% when driving in adverse weather conditions – rain, snow, and fog.” You get the idea. Of the 15 questions, only one of them was False, the other 14 were True, so when he came by and picked up our completed quizzes it was only a quick glance that was needed to see if we had successfully “passed” his examination.

So the class material was a bore, pretty straightforward, but there were some interesting things that happened as well. For starters, in the first five minutes of my arrival the instructor asked this old man (an I mean OLD as in 70+) for his driver’s license number – he was the only one who hadn’t yet provided it, and it was something required to give. How else are they supposed to let the DMV/court know that you’ve successfully completed the course? So the old man was refusing to give the information – you know how old people are about giving out their social security numbers? I’m thinking that may have had something to do with it. The old man finally gave it to him, after being told that he wouldn’t get credit for the course otherwise, but there was an interesting exchange with raised voices before he decided to hand it over.

During the first break, I went to the bathroom in the lobby (of the hotel where the class was being held). Flushed the toilet. Toilet didn’t just stop-up, it started overflowing. All over the floor. (And this wasn’t some ghetto hotel either, it was held at a Courtyard Marriot.) Luckily there was a woman with a housekeeping cart in the hallway outside the bathroom – I must admit, it made me very glad at that moment that I didn’t have her job.

One girl sitting at a table beside mine in the meeting room had apparently decided to forego the vending machine choices, and bring her own buffet instead. Stacked in front of her was an entire package of Chips Ahoy cookies, a tube of Ritz crackers, and a can of peanuts. Not once during the course of the class did I see her open anything and eat it, nor did she share with anyone else. Very strange.

One of the guys in the class was there with his wife, and he was taking the class as part of a procedure to reinstate his driver’s license. He hadn’t had a license in quite a while – he had racked up a deficit of 32 POINTS on his driving record, and it had been taken away for TEN YEARS as a result. He was the one who volunteered the information, during the discussion that we had about driving points after our lunch break. Can you imagine not driving for ten years (or at least not driving LEGALLY)?

2003-03-12T21:38:00.000-05:00

POPPIES

This is what I’m missing out on. I was on latimes.com today when I spotted the headline about Lancaster, which is where I was living while out in California last year. Lancaster is the home of the Antelope Valley California Poppy Reserve; people come from all over to see them. The reserve and also some local businesses had suffered the past few years because of a severe drought…no water, no flowers of course. Well, no more. They are blooming and gorgeous.

2003-03-12T21:31:00.000-05:00

REFLECTORS

When I was about 16 and hanging out with my girl friends, for lack of anything more interesting to do, one of the girls came up with the notion to steal reflectors off the sides of the road. You know, those reflectors that come in colors of red or blue, round disks mounted on a metal stick and stuck in the ground. These are used by a lot of people in the country to mark the top of their driveways…since country roads don’t have street lights, reflectors are helpful so that you (or your visitors) won’t drive past one of those hidden driveways in the dark.

Why did we do this? Good question. Why do we do ANY of those stupid things when we’re teenagers? From what I remember, a group of us were driving back from Lynchburg one night and one of the girls had the brilliant idea to stop the car in the middle of the road and pull the reflectors out of the ground. Tee-hee, ha-ha-ha, and of course we all thought it was a great plan. The scenario would go like this: Usually two girls in the front seat of the car, two in the back. Reflectors spotted. Nobody else coming down the road in either direction. Stop car. Two of the four girls would jump out, giggling with the exhilaration of STEALING REFLECTORS (how much did those things cost anyway? .99 cents? $1.99?).

Was this just a one-night thing? No, we did it a few different times, until we’d amassed a collection of probably about 30-40 (there were a LOT). So what did we do with them? Well, two of the girls were sisters and their family owned some acreage, a portion of which was wooded. There was an old house back in the woods that had been lived in a looooooong time before, an old falling-apart structure with a few rooms downstairs and a few rooms upstairs, made completely out of boards, no windows, rotted floors, etc. We’d drive out there occasionally and hang out (nothing better to do…keep in mind this was Buckingham), and one weekend near graduation we slept out there. So anyway, you couldn’t drive all the way up to this house since it was back in the woods, but there was somewhat of a path to follow through the trees…the path was sometimes hard to make out in the dark…so we’d carry flashlights with us…and the flashlight beams would shine off the REFLECTORS that we’d stationed all along the path. It was actually kind of cool to see. I wonder if they're still there.

What a random thing to remember.

2003-03-10T20:31:00.000-05:00

BAD MONDAY, EVEN WORSE

I was only about two miles from home this evening, driving back from work, when a guy cut across my lane of traffic trying to get into a gas station. I hit the brakes...screeeeeeeech! What a lovely sound. Or…not. Anyway, my car is okay. I only hit him hard enough to dent up my front license-plate holder and there’s some of his paint and some scratches on my bumper – no dents. I got his insurance information, and there was a woman driving behind me who saw him pull out in front of me when I obviously had the right-of-way, so she gave me her name and number in case I need a witness. It’s just inconvenient, something else to have to deal with. I guess with so many other things that happen to other people/vehicles that I should be lucky this is the only thing that’s happened to me when I’ve had my car for over three years.

2003-03-06T21:23:00.000-05:00

WAR

I just finished watching the Presidential news conference. I haven’t said anything yet about the possible upcoming war, even though we hear about it everywhere – internet, tv, radio – actually that’s probably WHY I haven’t said anything. I think it’s easier for those of us who don’t have a direct connection to journalism or politics to just try and put it out of our minds until that time where we’re forced to pay attention. I’ll admit that I don’t strictly follow all the intricacies of the day-to-day happenings, but I have a broad idea of our reasons for going into war against Iraq. I think that President Bush did a good idea of rallying support for his cause, he had a lot of good points. There are also good points on the side of those who prefer to have the support of other countries instead of the U.S. entering it alone.

It just worries me, as I’m sure it does others, what the consequences of our involvement in a war would be. Then again, like Bush said, the consequences for not doing anything could be even bigger. I guess you just have to accept that you’ll never know for sure what the best course of action is, and make the best decision that you can at that particular moment in history. I read an article written by Mark Morford yesterday, and it was the first anti-war article I’ve read so far where I actually took the time to feel scared when I was finished (if you read all the way to the end you’ll know what I’m talking about, the last paragraph sums everything up). It’s so easy to read things, or hear things, and just put them out of our minds. Which I will do, don’t get me wrong. I don’t like to dwell on things that I know I don’t have any control over and that will happen regardless of what a vast majority of people may think to the contrary. It’s just the things that I’ve heard…a cost of up to $1 trillion to the U.S. economy? Possibly reinstating the draft? Not to mention the people who are already enlisted in the Marines, or even the Reserves who have now been called back into service.

I guess all we can do is watch and wait. And then if something happens, get through it day by day, the best we know how. It’s just making me think tonight…where will we all be, what situation will we be in as individuals, or our country, this time next year?

2003-03-04T16:48:00.000-05:00

FEEL LIKE A SMOKE?

I heard about a funny incident that happened yesterday afternoon. The two female characters (who wish to remain anonymous), both in their 20’s, were at a mall here in Richmond. They were actually in the car, preparing to leave, when they caught a glimpse of these two hot guys. Eyes lock. Could there be sparks? Girl #1 tosses her hair, lights up a cigarette. Girl #2 hisses, “Are you crazy? Don’t light up a cigarette! Those guys are looking at us.” Girl #1 takes a nonchalant puff, replies with “Who cares?”

So the guys approach in their own car. I’m fuzzy on the sequence of events here, I’m guessing the one in the passenger seat got out of the car, because Girl #1 relays to me that she saw him coming, locked her car doors (smart!) and rolled down her window. Hot Guy flashes a brilliant sexy smile, hands her a card without speaking a word, and retreats back to his car.

Is it a business card from an up-and-coming lawyer? Or maybe the young, successful owner of his own business? A computer whiz perhaps? Sadly, no. The card reads (okay, and I’m paraphrasing because unfortunately I didn’t see the card in question with my own two eyes): YOU’D BE SO MUCH CUTER IF YOU DIDN’T SMOKE. Given out by: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. With heart stickers on the back.

In hindsight, Girl #1 and Girl #1 admit that there were warning signs. The two hot guys were well-dressed. As in suits and ties. And they were driving an older-model Oldsmobile Cutlass. Hot guys in a Cutlass…by choice? Probably not.

2003-02-27T20:16:00.000-05:00

WOODSTOCK ‘99

I don’t think of Woodstock very much anymore (which makes sense, as it took place four years ago this July). But yesterday Dana was showing me some pages she’d made in her scrapbook, and there were photos and other memorabilia from the trip. **On a side note, why is it that people who do scrapbooks never seem to be scrap-booking relatively CURRENT events? Is it because of the volume of information to be included; that it’s impossible to devote as much time as would be required? Or maybe it’s just that, depending on when you start, you have so much old stuff that could be included that you tend to keep falling farther and farther behind? That’s probably why it’s never appealed to me personally – I can be creative but I don’t have a lot of patience for projects that don’t seem to have a foreseeable ending in sight.**

Anyway – back to the topic at hand. I’d have to say, given the opportunity to do it all over again, it would be a very tough decision to make. I’m glad that I DID take the chance back then, it was definitely an…interesting…experience. (I drove to Woodstock with my sisters, Elissa and Angela, and with Dana.) The best part had to, of course, be the bands. The music was AWESOME and I got to see many shows in the space of three days that I wouldn’t otherwise have ever been able to take part in. Here is a list of the not-so-great aspects but stuff that, in general, could be dealt with (or overlooked, if need be):

*The insane amount of people. It took place on acres and acres of land (I think it was an old airfield or something) in New York state, but there were only maybe a few feet between tents in the designated areas.
*The lack of shower facilities. Supposedly they were around somewhere, but in all our traipsing around we never once found them. This situation lent itself to four very stinky girls, but since everybody else also smelled it was never an issue.
*It was very easy to get lost. I think the event-promoters had tried to make an effort, by making maps available and putting up road-name signs at major “intersections” (if you could even call them that). But by the end of Day 1, definitely by Day 2, it just wasn’t working. The road-name signs would mysteriously disappear, or else you’d be leaving the last concert after midnight and with the place being as big as it was meant that it wasn’t very well-lit, so you just couldn’t see the freakin’ signs. I think we ended up getting turned around after EVERY concert. It wasn’t unusual for it to take an extra half hour or more to find our way back to the tent.
*Having to deal with ruffians. Multiple people would hold up signs asking us to “Show Us Your Boobs.” Yeah…sorry. Not everyone was crude and rude, we did have help putting up our tent the first night by a neighbor-tent of guys. (Granted, they DID have to watch us and laugh for about twenty minutes first, as we unsuccessfully struggled to put up a contraption that we weren’t familiar with.) Speaking of the tent though, Elissa and I were just laying down late one night when we distinctly heard the sound of someone peeing. Not on the GROUND outside of our tent. ON the tent. Pretty gross.

The thing that was the worse to deal with had to be the sun. It was unrelenting. New York in July is no picnic, mainly because of the humidity, and it had to be in the 90’s every day we were there. I had brought along sunscreen, but it usually ended up being applied only once a day, in the morning before we left to find a way to entertain ourselves. Due to the enormity of the place, along with the fact that it always took us so long to FIND our tent once we left it, it was impossible to go back for the “little things.” It would get so hot, and so humid, so early in the mornings that it was usually impossible to sleep later than 7:30-8am, regardless of what time we’d fallen asleep the night before.

I would have to say that the heat was the worse aspect because I’d never before been in a situation, or have been in a situation since then, where there wasn’t any relief in sight. We’re so spoiled nowadays, that even while we’re hot, and we complain, there is usually some place to go to find relief…even if it’s a store or something. There was absolutely not any one place to find relief. There weren’t any trees on these vast acres (being an old airfield), which meant no shade. You couldn’t use the inside of your tent for shade, because that basically just felt like a sauna. I think there were a FEW places that were set up with water “misters,” but these places tended to be so packed with bodies that they didn’t work very well.

The result of all this sun exposure was, yes, sunburn. I got burnt so bad on one side of my face that I got sun poisoning, the area from my forehead, to the eye itself, and underneath was swollen. At its worst point my eye was completely swollen shut, but luckily this didn’t happen until the very last day, when we were on our way back to Virginia. It was so bad that I had to go to my doctor the next day; he gave me steroids to take down the swelling. Not that this made up for it, but when my all-over sunburn had sunk in, I was more tan than I’ve ever been in my life (then or since). That lasted for about two weeks, then I was pretty much back to normal (that is why I think tanning is such a waste of time). I’ve got the pictures to prove it. I also have pictures of my “squinty-eye” – not pretty. Oh, the memories…

2003-02-25T21:48:00.000-05:00

KLUTZ

Tonight I was making some brown rice with mixed vegetables for dinner. (It's something quick and easy to make, I'd been studying the previous few hours for a Lit exam I have tomorrow night, and had just finished my Spanish homework.) Rice was ready, waiting in a pan on the stove. I had just taken the vegetables from the microwave (steamed frozen vegetables...see, I told you the dinner was "quick and easy"). I opened the container with the vegetables, added some pepper for seasoning, partially replaced the container's lid and started shaking it with one hand, while with the other hand I reached for a bowl... (does anyone see where I'm going with this?). The lid slipped out of place. I didn't actually drop the plastic container, but it tipped over and allofthevegetablesfellonthefloor. It was traumatic. Okay, not traumatic, but for about six seconds I thought about hurling the bowl at the wall. But of course I didn't. I'm not a violent person. I think that even those of us without violent tendencies have those fleeting thoughts at times, even when we don't act on them (thank goodness).

The worse I felt was after I told Devin to "GOAWAY", when he heard the commotion in the kitchen and came to the doorway to see what was up, and being a normal 5-year-old had to start interjecting his thoughts. I wasn't mad at him, I was mad at myself. For no reason, really. So I dropped some vegetables. Temporary setback. All I had to do was get more vegetables out of the bag in the freezer, heat up some more, and clean up the floor -- the process probably set me back all of 5 minutes.

I just know that I get mad at myself when I do something that I know I shouldn't (like take my frustrations out on someone else), or if I'm clumsy, or even in situations where I'm just generally unhappy with what I'm currently doing...how is that anyone else' fault but my own? That's what I have to keep reminding myself of. In those situations where I'm not happy for whatever reason, I feel bad for passing my emotions on to others. Because everyone knows that one person's bad mood doesn't only affect that one person -- bad moods are contagious.

I guess that's why I'm such a strong believer in doing what makes you happy. If you're happy, then you're not only keeping YOURSELF happy, but the people around you are also affected.

(GEEEEEZZZ...all this "deep" stuff when all I did was drop some freakin' vegetables...)

2003-02-20T21:27:00.000-05:00

I have eight new photos on my Yahoo Photos website, seven of them from last Friday, Valentine's day. As usual, they're in the "New Uploads" folder.

2003-02-19T15:03:00.000-05:00

UNSTUCK...AT LEAST FOR NOW

I did it. I was so proud of myself this morning. I dug myself out of my driveway...granted, it took me about twenty minutes. The car would move a few inches, I'd chop around the tires with the shovel, get back in the car and twist the wheel around, gain a few more inches, etc. I finally got out of the slight downhill slope in our driveway and up to the solid-packed ice on the road, then I pulled up to the top of the road and left the car there until it was time for me to leave for work (I started early in case I wasn't able to get the car out myself, that way I'd have enough time to call someone to pick me up and take me to work). They STILL haven't plowed our streets yet, I don't understand. The biggest mystery was that I heard a snow plow on the road in front of our house last night, I looked out the window just to make sure, but all he did was turn around at the end of our street and leave! I was like, hello...while you're turning around could you at least shovel the ice and crap off the road?

2003-02-18T22:21:00.000-05:00

STUCK AT ONE PLACE, NOW ANOTHER

I made it home this afternoon, at the end of the fourth day spent at mom’s house watching the boys while she was gone. She finally made it home today, safe and sound, thank goodness. But now…my car is stuck in my home driveway. I don’t know if my car was ever technically stuck at mom’s, I never tried to get out until today, and that was after a snow plow had come through and cleared the road in front of her house. That has not yet been done on the side roads around OUR house. I parked in my driveway and then discovered that I could move neither forward or backward more than a couple of inches (this was an experiment after seeing that Elissa and her boyfriend Scott were trying to move HER car out of the parking space it had been stuck in since Saturday). At the moment it doesn’t look like either one of us are going anywhere, even after Scott tried to dig around my tires with a shovel. Since I don’t have to be at work tomorrow until 12 I’m hoping that I’ll be able to make some more headway. If not, I may be making some calls looking for a ride…did I happen to mention that I don’t like snow?

2003-02-17T13:21:00.000-05:00

AMUSING MYSELF

Being ice-bound to once again spend the day at mom’s house, I’ve had to find various ways to amuse myself. (I was here all day yesterday and looks like it will be the same today, at least until I can chip the ice off of my Civic – work is closed again today.) Luckily I bought some school books with me, so I got caught up with some homework that I was planning to do anyway, but that really only took a few hours. I’ve been studying my Spanish flashcards that I made in order to learn my vocabulary. I finished reading a book last night, a recommendation of my literature teacher at school (The Invisible Man, by Ralph Ellison). I talked on the phone yesterday with mom – she has to drive through the Baltimore/D.C. to come home, which of course is majorly dangerous right now, so they won’t be back until at least sometime this afternoon or tonight (instead of LAST night like originally planned). Afternoons are all about the movies. “Funny Farm” was on HBO yesterday – you know, that Chevy Chase movie from the late ‘80s where him and his wife move to the country so he can write a book, and it’s the town/people from hell?

It’s kind of strange spending so much time with my two brothers and Devin. Devin and Isaac have been playing outside with some other kids in the neighborhood; one of Isaac’s friends had a skateboard that he’d taken the wheels off of and they were using that as an improvised snowboard at one point. According to Isaac they weren’t really doing a good job of staying ON the snowboard, but they came back inside injury-free so I guess it was okay. Yesterday while they were outside I watched this French movie called Amelie. I’d heard of the movie because it won some awards when it came out a year or two ago, but even though I knew it was a French film I guess I didn’t realize that it was in subtitles. I still watched it though, it was actually pretty good. The only thing with watching movies in subtitles is that you don’t realize how much you have to pay attention to the screen, in order to read everything that they say (“Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” is the same way). That’s really the only annoying part. For instance I couldn’t just turn up the tv to hear the conversation when I had to run into the kitchen to refill my water. I thought the funniest part was when the boys came back in from outside and saw me watching this movie in another language. No, they didn’t say anything, but I could only imagine what they were thinking: “Yeah, here’s our sister/aunt, we can’t watch the Disney channel because she’s watching some foreign flick….”

I think they’ve been doing an okay job of staying out of fights, seeing as how they’re all cooped up in here together, but I must admit it’s starting to grate on my nerves a little bit. They’re in the other room right now playing cards with one of Ben’s friends who’s visiting, and ten minutes into the game all I’m hearing is “You cheated!,” “No I didn’t!,” “Yes you did!” I may have to break out the Civic earlier than expected…

2003-02-16T09:18:00.000-05:00

NUTTY BARS

Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. Those Little-Debbie brand, crispy wafer-like bars made out of peanut butter and chocolate. Mom had some in her kitchen cabinet, and last night I was watching television with my brothers when Isaac had some for “dessert” (okay, it was actually right after he’d had some shrimp w/ marinara sauce for dinner and he was still hungry, but hey – when mom’s away I guess it’s okay for them to eat “bad,” right?). I hadn’t thought about this for years (and it was actually Ben who reminded me of it last night), but back when we were little mom and dad would sometimes buy a box of snack cakes when we were out shopping in town, and we’d each get one of the individually-wrapped cakes. This may not sound like a big deal, but we didn’t eat a lot of “junk food” growing up, and they wouldn’t buy snack cakes “just because” and leave them in the kitchen to eat whenever. So Ben and I had a laugh last night, remembering how we’d use to be like “Wheeee….Nutty Bars!” or “Yummy! Mass-produced chocolate-fudge brownies!” (okay, so maybe we’d leave out that “mass-produced” part, but you get the picture).

2003-02-16T09:07:00.000-05:00

ICED-IN

Well, we were supposed to be SNOWED in today, but I don’t think that’s as likely as it was yesterday. It’s sleeting right now and it looks like there’s ice all over the roads so I’ve decided to either go in to work late or not at all. I was going to see how many people had made it in before deciding, but I couldn’t get in touch with anyone at work so I don’t think there will be many (if any) there today.

I hate driving when it’s icy outside. Yesterday afternoon before everything started my 10-year-old brother Isaac was bored and I was looking to escape for a few hours too, so I took him to the movie theatre and we saw “Daredevil” – that new movie with Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner. By the time we got out around 6:30 there was ice all over the place, and our shoes were slipping and sliding all over the parking lot. I stayed on the main road when we were driving back, rather than taking shortcuts through some secondary roads, so we were okay since the heat from the road was melting the initial ice accumulation.

I’ve been wary about driving on ice ever since I had a small accident a few years back, driving back from work one night when the weather was really bad. Luckily it just involved myself and not any other vehicles – I was driving home to the first apartment that Elissa and I lived in when we moved in together in Richmond, and on the road ahead of me there was some other accident going on because all these cars in front of me started braking all of a sudden. When I hit my brakes I also hit ice, and my car literally started spinning in circles. (Luckily?) the spin was stopped when the back of my car hit a concrete divider between the roads; one of my back tail lights was busted out and I had to get it replaced but that was it, I was in an older car that I used to have and I also wasn’t injured so I guess I came out okay in the end. But that doesn’t mean that I want to put myself in that kind of situation again if I can help it.

2003-02-14T14:51:00.000-05:00

Today I was a wedding photographer. (Or, technically speaking, a “marriage ceremony” photographer?) This morning around 9:30 my mom and her boyfriend got married by a justice-of-the-peace, an older lady who’s house that we drove to. I went with them so that they’d have some pictures to commemorate the experience (and I guess a familiar face doesn’t hurt either!), along with my younger brother Isaac who wasn’t feeling good today so he was staying out of school. Now they’re off to spend the weekend in Atlantic City….why can’t I get away somewhere to escape the rain and snow??

2003-02-07T22:01:00.000-05:00

WEB PICKS: "IS SHANIA TWAIN HUMAN?", POLICE VEHICLES GO GREEN, ALABAMA GINGERBREAD HOUSE

Mark Morford comments on Shania Twain's performance at the Super Bowl a couple of weeks back (so sue me, I haven't been updating my web picks as often as I used to). :)

Finally, groups other than tree-huggers and die-hard environmentalists are realizing the perks of driving eco-friendly cars.

No, it's not elaborate, but it is funny: the Alabama Gingerbread House.

2003-02-06T00:26:00.000-05:00

IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE

I had decided I wasn’t going to write about this in a public forum, until I got a call from an old, very close friend tonight. The two events are related in a way, but unrelated. Let me explain.

Two nights ago, a guy that I was acquainted with was murdered. I can honestly say this is the first person that I’ve known personally that this has happened to, and I pray it will also be the last. I hadn’t seen him in almost a year, but he was close to some very good friends of mine, and I know this news is hitting them very hard. In short, he was murdered by the ex of a woman that he had been dating, a guy who had previously proven himself to be a stalker.

I got a call tonight from a girl friend, a wonderful person that I’ve known since I was about 11 years old. She was supposed to come see me on Friday because she’s getting some business done and visiting her parents in a town not too far from here (she lives out of state); she called tonight she told me she couldn’t come because her ex just decided to inform her that he’s been stalking her. She’s been separated from him for over a year, she got married young and she found out (too late) that the relationship was basically built on a pyramid of lies that he’d told her before they were married. She’s thought for the past few months that he’s been living in Florida, and he may have been for a while, but tonight they crossed paths here in VA and he let her know that he knows not only WHERE she works, but certain outfits she’s worn recently, the way she’s worn her hair, people she’s hung out with, and landmarks that she passes on her WAY to work. How scary is that? And just too coincidental after finding out the news about this other situation just earlier in the day. She was calling to let me know that since he’s decided to reveal this information to her (and apparently he told her that he wouldn’t physically hurt HER, but he doesn’t promise the same protection to any guy that she may decide to see in the future), that she doesn’t want to come by and potentially reveal my location to either him or whoever else he may have spying on her. In case she needs a “safe haven” in the future, where she can leave where she’s currently living and come stay with me if she ever needs to, she’d rather not let her ex find out where I live. And thank goodness he doesn’t.

It’s all scary. Both of these circumstances. It’s also senseless, and totally avoidable if these crazy people maybe stopped to think of the countless lives that they’re affecting/have-now-affected because they just can’t let go.

2003-02-03T21:07:00.000-05:00

HE THINKS THAT HE’S SO SMART…

Tonight Elissa had a class at school so I picked up Devin from mom’s house when I got off work. I let him watch TV for about an hour or so while I got on the computer, and around 8 o’clock I could hear him start watching one of his favorite shows: “Spongebob Squarepants.”

I yelled into the room, “When that show that you’re watching goes off, it’s time for bed!”

I look at the clock at 8:30, and go into the living room. And what had he done? Yep, that’s right. He had turned it over from “Spongebob” (end time 8:30) to some movie on Nickelodeon (end time 9:40). Hey, I DID say “that show you’re watching.” I didn’t specify WHICH show, right? Too bad. That doesn’t work with big “mean” Aunt Zan. Off to bed he goes.

And get this – Elissa’s cat seems to like to bother Devin when he goes to bed at night, so until he falls asleep we usually shut the cat up in the hall bathroom or in one of our bedrooms. Tonight it’s the same thing, so I pick up the cat and take him to my room. Except this time, the cat gets frisky and claws me as I’m putting him down – his claw puts a two-inch gash down the inside of my left ring finger. And when I say “gash” I’m not exaggerating…it was bleeding and I had to wrap a wet napkin around my finger until it stopped. What a night.

2003-02-03T15:19:00.000-05:00

HOW DO YOU....?

I was talking to a woman this morning and walking her through various screens on the company website. At one point she asked me, “How do you do this all day?” She was a totally nice woman; she asked it in a normal, pleasant, non-confrontational way. There are just certain questions where even if you’re not dissatisfied with what you’re doing, it automatically makes you think “How DO I do this all day?” Granted, call-center jobs don’t offer the same amount of flexibility and creativity as other professions. But seeing as how I don’t expect to be in this job for the rest of my life, I don’t mind doing the little mundane things that I sometimes have to do over and over throughout the day. You just get used to it. Do I always like it? No, probably not. But I can think of worse things I could be doing, where somebody might be more justified in asking “How do you do that all day?” For instance…cleaning out sewers. I don’t think that I’d like that very much. Working in a coal mine. Driving a taxi in New York City. Digging ditches. I guess it’s helpful to think of the other possibilities when you have those days where you wonder “Why am I here?” No matter how bad it gets, it could always be worse.

2003-02-01T14:02:00.000-05:00

COLUMBIA

I feel really bad about those seven astronauts who died today when the spaceshuttle Columbia exploded. It was an AWFUL thing to have happen. But can I just say, is it really necessary to have endless-commentary commercial-free news on all of the major networks? For people who are just tuning in and need to find out the facts, that can be done in about three minutes. Then there are eyewitness accounts ("this is what I saw when I looked out my window!" and "the whole house shook!"), and the experts who are telling the Texas residents to please not go near any debris as the fumes could get into their lungs and possibly cause them to have a heart attack within 48 hours! Too much.

2003-01-30T14:22:00.000-05:00

SNOW -- GO AWAY, DON'T COME BACK ANOTHER DAY

Well I made it home before the weather got too bad. I don’t even know if it’s supposed to get worse but when it comes to snow I like to be safe. It started out with snow this morning and now its ice which of course can be even worse. I’m home earlier than normal this afternoon because I had a test in my last class (Spanish) and the teacher let us leave once we were done.

I wonder when it was that my thoughts about the weather began to change? When I was little I loved for it to snow. Virginia can get cold and gloomy, but compared to some other states we usually have pretty mild winter weather. I guess it all has to do with growing up…having to actually DRIVE in the snow…clean up the mess that tracked-up snow makes on the floors...having to wash the road-salt off the car. It’s just not worth it to me to be able to see the “beautiful snow falling, making everything white and pure.” Whatever. Snow is a menace.

This, of course, was not my mindset when I was young. I enjoyed the occasional snow-fall as much as anyone else: building snowmen, making snow-angels, snowball fights, (mom’s hot chocolate waiting for us when we got back inside!), bundling up with jackets/mittens/hats/scarves until walking in the snow became more like waddling. And of course sledding – that was the best part. At my dad’s house the property is bordered by trees, the front of the house is on a main road but there is a large amount of woods in the back (to tell the truth, I’m not even sure how far back it goes). On one side of the yard the ground slopes off into a hill that ends with a creek at the bottom. The slope was gradual enough to make it perfect for sledding – not steep enough to make steering through the trees (TOO) treacherous, and if you were in danger of coming too close to the creek there were places to pull off and avoid it. This wasn’t always fool-proof of course. There were a few instances here and there of the steering mechanism on the sled not working right (or, okay, user-error is possible), and we’d crash into a tree, or hit a bush or branch that was covered with snow. But it was never anything serious, nobody ever got hurt so the sledding would always continue.

2003-01-30T09:24:00.000-05:00

PHOTO UPDATE

I added a few new photos to my Yahoo website. They can be found by clicking the link on the left side of this page, and they're in the "New Uploads" folder.

2003-01-27T23:14:00.000-05:00

MEMORIES

Are there certain things you come across in your everyday life that remind you of your childhood? I admit it's not something that I think about a lot, but every now and then I'll come across a memory and BANG! -- there it is. Most of the time for me it's with books. I was a BIG reader when I was young...I still am to a point, I still love to read, but I can't find the time to read five books a week like I did when I was little. Tonight my dad came to visit and brought a few bags of books with him that he'd been cleaning out of the house, some old ones, some newer. My sister was supposed to look through them and take out the ones that she thought Devin might like, but since she was gone at the time I got to them first. I looked through them and took out about 5-6 that held some significance to me, either I remembered reading them over and over when I was young or else they had been given to me by someone close in my life. (Inscriptions on the front cover and the date are always a good clue.) It was really cute to find an old Sesame Street book, for instance, with my name written in my mom's hand on the inside front cover, and the date of 1983. How can you find something like that and not want to keep it?

2003-01-26T23:13:00.000-05:00

THE SEARCH

Tonight when I got off work I wanted sushi. I’ve been craving it for the past few weeks, have looked around here and there, but I haven’t made too much of a concentrated effort. It’s harder to find on the east coast, in the west you can usually find it already prepared in clear plastic containers in grocery stores. That’s what I wanted, just something simple. But I was too hungry to traipse around to all different kinds of places, so I decided to try my luck at an Asian grocery store on Broad Street. My rationale was okay, sushi is made by Asians, this is an Asian grocery store, and a pretty large-sized one at that, so this seems like a pretty good bet.

So I was wrong. I go into "Tan-A Supermarket" (don’t ask me about the name, I have no idea), and of course I stick out like a sore thumb because there are ONLY Asians in the place. Undeterred, I go around to all the cooler cases and refrigerated sections with glass doors, anything that looks like it could be keeping sushi cold. (I’ll give it to this place, they have a really large selection of OTHER things, if I was ever going to cook an Asian meal I would definitely go back.) No sushi. And even though I stick out and pretty much look like I’m SEARCHING for something, none of the employees bother to ask if I need any help. I consider finding an employee on my own and asking, thinking I could just be missing it, but then I think of the possibility of them laughing behind my back: ("Tee-hee, silly little white girl coming in to our market and asking for ready-made sushi! What a riot!") Maybe Asians prefer to buy the ingredients and make their own? They WERE selling raw fish in display cases in the back of the store. So I left. And came home and made a sandwich...not quite the same. The search continues….

2003-01-25T23:41:00.000-05:00

SHOULD WE MAYBE GET A CHOICE WITH SOMETHING AS IMPORTANT AS THE NAME WE LIVE WITH ALL OUR LIVES?

When I was cleaning some old papers out of my room today I came across a piece of cardboard from a Motel 6 where I stayed one night when I was driving back to Richmond last month. It was a card with the name of the girl who'd cleaned my room that day. I saved it because the girl's name tripped me out: the card was signed "Tequila Orange." Maybe it's just me, but do you think that the girl could possibly be using an alias?....or did Mr. & Mrs. Orange decide to name their daughter "Tequila" just for the hell of it? I should try that one day at work. That would be a riot. "Yes, thank for you calling. This is Caramel Bluebell, how can I help you?" "Yes, this is Cherry Champagne." "Jamaica Waterfall, at your service!" "Good afternoon, this is Godiva Appletree."

2003-01-24T19:08:00.000-05:00

COURT

Okay, that place I had to go earlier this morning in Buckingham? Yeah, it was court. For a speeding ticket. I got clocked going 67 in a 55mph zone. On Thanksgiving Day. I had my older sister in the front with me, and my two younger brothers and nephew in the backseat. We were coming from Richmond, and we were ONE mile from my dad’s house. (Yeah Elissa, you can deny it all you want, but I place the blame on HER for distracting me!) This is because I had my cruise control on the entire time, except for the last few miles before dad’s house because I happened to get stopped at one of the two stoplights in the entire county. So I was driving minus the cruise control to keep me at the proper speed for about three miles or so, and WHAM! Darn. Lights. Big bad state trooper. Big bad state trooper who was mad about having to work on Thanksgiving no less. Ticket. Come back on January 24th please. Thank you. Have a nice day. Yeah, whatever.

So all that explanation just to tell you about my court experience today. I think it’s almost inevitable NOT to have an interesting court experience with all the trashy-people/weirdos/delinquents clogging up our system today. I think the judges are so used to seeing “normal” people come in that they tend to be pretty lenient because they know what’s coming up NEXT.

So this one old guy, right? He was there about a DUI offense. Stooped, grizzled, wearing dirty jeans and an unbuttoned flannel shirt over a ratty t-shirt. The judge had to grant him a continuance because the guy was UNDER THE INFLUENCE. I don’t know whether the guy had admitted it up front or whether one of the cops maybe just happened to smell the alcohol on him or something. The judge sent him to spend the rest of the day and tonight in jail for punishment and told him to come back next Friday…SOBER. Yes please, that would be nice…the judge was like, yeah, sorry, but we can’t try your case if you’ve been drinking this morning. (Not in those exact words of course, but you can get the idea.)

Just one other example (there were more of course, but I’m trying not to linger TOO much on the stupidity/craziness of others). Another old-person example. This time a woman. And when I say “old” I do mean like age 60+, I’m not just saying old as in “over-the-hill-age-40-old” or anything like that. This woman was sitting directly in front of me: short, gray hair in the typical "old woman I don’t give a shit about my hair anymore so I need it to be short" style, wearing a brightly colored sweater and a PAIR OF GLASSES ON A CHAIN around her neck. Too much. And then get this: she’s reading some kind of paperback book and highlighting passages with a yellow highlighter. I can catch random titles on the pages when I’m bored and happen to glance over: “Religion,” “Death and Dying,” that kind of thing. So pretty much a sweet old woman (or so she appears on the surface). The only thing I could figure she’d be there for was something traffic-related (and I was correct, she went before me and it was for a speeding ticket – 77 in a 55mph zone!). All I kept thinking about when I’d look at her was picturing her in a video racing game (like Mario-Kart). Racing around. Passing people. Eyes wide open and gleeful smile plastered on her face. Screaming “OUT OF MY WAY!” with wild abandon. Then being pulled over and putting on her grandmotherly, demure “old = angel” look. I’m glad the cop wasn’t fooled.

I swear, I know all this stuff about what these people were charged with because this courtroom is just one big spectacle. If you’re ever bored and want to pass the time, this would be the place to go. Tons of people waiting their turn, but of course they’re listening to what’s going on at the front because it’s not a BIG room and what else is there to do really?

And in closing, can I just mention that since courthouses give everyone the same date/time to be in the building and know that a lot of people are going to be sitting awhile….could you maybe PAD THE BENCHES? All the benches – wooden. Just plain wood. Yes, that’s right. By the time I stood up when my name was called my back was sore and my butt was numb. Time passed before I was able to leave? Two and a half hours.

But at least I got driving school. It was all worth it.

2003-01-24T19:02:00.000-05:00

ODE TO A COUNTRY SCHOOL BUS

Humbly you chug along
Picking up our nation’s children
For another day at school.

But what about when
You’re on a freakin’ one lane road
And nobody can pass you?

Bright, yellow, and oversized you are
But you need to be that way
To safely deliver the children to their destination.

Why don’t you pull over for God’s sake?
Let the people who have places to go
Actually get there on time.

-- This is dedicated to those people who were on the OTHER side of the road I was traveling on this morning, when I had to go to Buckingham County. THANK GOD I wasn’t behind that bus, I never would have gotten to where I was going on time. There were no less than FIFTY (maybe more, I didn’t count them!) cars behind the bus, on a road that only went one-way in each direction. I have never seen anything so crazy in my life, the line of cars that I passed stretched for at least half a mile or more.

2003-01-22T23:44:00.000-05:00

LICENSE PLATE

License plate seen today: "PEFEXUN"

Do you ever stop and wonder about the people who choose to have those sayings that make you stop and look a second time? To me, there are very few license plates that warrant a second glance, but I'll catch some here and there. Personally it's hard for me to understand the type of person that's so comfortable with herself/herself as to put "PEFEXUN" on their car, but there's actually a lot of vanity license plates out there for those people who like to advertise how highly they think of themselves.

2003-01-18T20:45:00.000-05:00

AN ORDINARY DAY

We all know what makes a day ordinary. We all know our routines, what we do in the mornings when we wake up (or for some people, when they wake up in the afternoon), what we have to take care of before we go off to school or work. What’s an ordinary day for me? Well, as of late it depends on the day. If it’s a "work-day" (which for the past 4+ years it’s been that way five days a week, this semester it’s finally changing to where I only work four days a week and school two days) then I know when I wake up I have to take a shower, blow-dry my hair, put on makeup, get dressed, prepare my lunch and snacks to eat throughout the day while I’m gone. Then I go to work, do what’s expected of me (talk to customers), take my breaks at the specified times, and go home. Eat dinner. Maybe watch the news, but I’m not much of a TV watcher anymore so I’m more likely to be reading or doing homework.

Where am I going with this? Maybe just the fact that when I think of the term "ordinary day" it kind of drives me crazy. Just to think of the term itself. Even though we have ordinary days all the time, maybe every day in a row for a week, or a month, or God help us – a year? That seems pretty hard to fathom but I’m sure it’s possible. I may be used to my ordinary days but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. Wouldn’t it be awesome if everybody made a commitment to do at least one thing in a day to insure that it couldn’t be considered "ordinary?" Just think of the possibilities of having to force yourself to break out of the bounds of what you do every day. Maybe the commitment could be to do at least one thing nice/unexpected for another person every day – that definitely wouldn’t be ordinary, at least not for the majority of us (and yes, I also speak for myself in that respect!). Or it could be a personal quest, even something as simple as committing to learning at least one new piece of information every day.

So what would hold me back? Here’s where it gets tricky. The question, in my opinion, is would it even be possible? Some people dive into new projects wholeheartedly, all gung-ho in the beginning and then maybe they’ll forget for a few days…and then, well – that’s it. On one hand I can see me being that way, afraid that I’d start off with good intentions and then forgetting, or being in a bad mood and just not caring. But to me that would be the worst thing – lying in bed at the end of a long day and not caring that my day had been ordinary. It’s almost easier to keep on being ordinary and not strive to take that extra step…because then you can’t be disappointed in yourself if you don’t succeed. Which is better? How does that saying go (?), something along the lines of: "It’s better to have tried and failed then never to have tried at all."

2003-01-16T17:11:00.000-05:00

DAMN SNOW

I wrote an email to my friend Jen this morning, and received a response this afternoon. I happened to mention when I wrote her that it's calling for snow tonight (no longer "if" it's going to happen, but "how much are we going to get?"). Her response?

It's supposed to be 82 [in L.A.] today. :)

Need I say more?????

2003-01-16T17:04:00.000-05:00

HUCK FINN

Last night in my American Literature class (time period from 1870-present) we went over the first few authors that we had the option of reading from the week before. One of these was Mark Twain and – of course – his most popular novel, “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.” I’m re-reading it now, it wasn’t required but recommended, just to get the general feel of literature from that time period. It’s interesting to think about how drastically society and its ideals have changed in a period of just over 100 years. Back then most literature was written in the “genteel” way, because that’s how most people tried to act (or at least that’s how they liked to see themselves). Twain dared to break out of that mold and write a book, not in his own voice, but in the voice of the adventurous main character, even though Twain himself came from “genteel society” and made a good living with his writing. It was almost like Twain was living through Huck Finn, showing his readers what a different sort of life could be like out of the periphery of what was already familiar. Huckleberry Finn was truly free, if he wanted to do something then he just did it because – to quote my teacher: “he wanted to free himself from conventional oppression.” My teacher’s point was that sometimes what we THINK is civilized is actually oppression, and it’s not until down the road when we’re past that (like how people were 100 years ago) that you can look back and truly understand those people who dared to break the mold. At least it’s more acceptable today to go our own way, in fact it’s probably more likely to be encouraged than looked down on.

2003-01-14T20:13:00.000-05:00

MATH....ewwwww

I have a tendency to want to stick with something until I understand it. This can be a good thing, other times I spend so much time on the subject that everything just becomes muddled. I realize this tendency of mine mostly when it comes to math. When I took Statistics in college last year I could spend a few hours trying to get all my homework done in one stretch. It was frustrating, I'd sit there and beat myself up about it when I couldn't figure something out, and mainly just succeed in giving myself a headache. Then I discovered that when I just walked away for a little while, a few hours or even the next day, for some reason the things that might not have been clear suddenly seemed easier to understand. Even now (when I know this is the best way to do things) I find myself trying to get things done in one stretch. Saturday afternoon I spent three hours on math homework, trying to catch myself up on basic algebra principles that my Pre-Cal teacher this semester is skipping (because of course we should "already know it", but I haven't done algebra since high school). This afternoon before class I opened the books again, finished most of the assigned homework except for a few things that I still needed clarified, and then of course thought: "Why do I keep forgetting that math isn't meant to be done all at once?" At least this is the way it is with me.

2003-01-12T10:41:00.000-05:00

WEB PICKS: GENIUS MP3, TREE LOVER, JOE MILLIONAIRE, A "NEW" NEW YEARS' RESOLUTION, "A BETTER WAY TO EAT"

Oh wow: the new genius of MP3 software. Mark Morford named this column “Fear Me, Wicked Record Execs.” So now there’s this new software where you can listen to those streaming, continuous-play radio stations and it will automatically create an MP3 for EACH song. Then you can go back later and delete the songs you don’t want, and save the ones you do, for playback either on your computer or to burn on a CD. Pretty neat.

I don’t think this got as much coverage here on the east coast, but when I was living in L.A. County this guy was on the news almost every day. He was trying to keep from having this 400-year-old tree cut down for the planned widening of a road, so he’s been LIVING in the tree since November 1st. His battle has now come to an end, the people he was fighting against were successful in getting him evicted from the tree a few days ago.

I don’t think there’s a very high possibility that I’ll watch an episode of that new so-called reality show “Joe Millionaire,” but for those girls I know (you know who you are!), here’s an excerpt from an interview with the star of the show and a Newsweek reporter.

This is something I found earlier this month from a reporter for USAToday. Could this possibly be the best New Year’s resolution I’ve heard of so far? You decide.

Newsweek's cover this week proclaims "A Better Way To Eat." The old food pyramid? In their opinion, highly flawed and in need of a major rehaul. A group from Harvard accepted this undertaking and this article details their findings.

2003-01-11T19:43:00.000-05:00

"GOING GOTH" AT WAL-MART

What is it with me and weird things happening at Wal-Mart? I got up early this morning so I arrived at the store around 9:15, and filled my cart pretty quickly with what I needed. I’m almost out of the store (with nothing strange happening), and I get in the line of this guy with long, dyed black hair and a nose ring. Hey – it was the shortest line. What else was I supposed to do? While he was scanning my purchases, a manager tapped him on the shoulder to let him know about some special kind of cheese that would have to have a specific code that day.

He nodded in affirmation and the manager left, then he looked at me and said: "Boy, that was close. I thought that manager was coming to talk to me for another reason. I’m never here. I hardly ever come to work when I’m supposed to."

Me (being polite, I smile): "Oh really?"

Goth-boy: "Oh yeah. You see, I still live at home with my mom so I don’t really need to work."

Me (thinking to myself, SLACKER….): "I guess you’re right."

Goth-boy: "And I’m only 19. I just come to work when I want to. I’m surprised they haven’t fired me yet."

Me (thinking to myself, WELL I’M SURE YOU DON’T HAVE MUCH LONGER).

So then the last item that he rings up is this plastic bag that I filled up in the produce department with three heads of broccoli. It was supposed to be $0.98 a pound, and I think I probably had a couple of pounds worth. But apparently they don’t have a code for the broccoli or they have to do something special, because I remember the last time I was there the female cashier had to ask a manager about what to do in order to get the right price. When Goth-boy tried to weigh it and the price just came back invalid (like unrecognized code), he typed in "Veggie" as the product name and manually typed in the price as $0.40. Yes, that would have to rate as the cheapest broccoli I’ve ever bought before in a grocery store.

Goth-boy (in explanation): "When the price for this doesn’t come up right I don’t bother to call a manager. I just punch in $0.40 or $0.50, whichever I feel like. I figure if they wanted to get the right price then they’d fix the computer."

Me (smiling a more genuine-smile now that I’ve gotten something more worthwhile from this experience than just an entry for my weblog): "Sounds good to me!"

2003-01-09T22:29:00.000-05:00

LIBERTY

On my way to Wal-Mart this afternoon I passed a woman standing on the sidewalk. She was waving to the passing traffic. She also happened to be dressed up as Lady Liberty. This included a long, shiny green robe, crown, and torch. (She also happened to be Hispanic, but I’m going to leave that alone. I mean, we’re all Americans right?) I was confused – what is the purpose of this?, I wondered. Then I noticed that she was standing in front of a business with "Liberty" in the name, Liberty Insurance or Liberty Mortgage, something like that. So that explained the getup. But does seeing a woman dressed like Lady Liberty make me want to visit that particular business, because they pay someone to stand on the sidewalk and wave? What a surprise to hear me answer – um…no.

2003-01-09T17:07:00.000-05:00

YUCK

Cafeterias stink. At least to me. I’m sure that taken one food at a time, one smell at a time, it would be fine. But I was walking through a building today whose cafeteria is on the bottom floor as I was exiting, and I was just reminded of how revolting the smell can be. A mixture of too many things I suppose. Yuck.

2003-01-07T23:49:00.000-05:00

Wa-KO-via

I understand that some words are hard to pronounce. And some people are better at figuring out those words than others. But don’t you think if an institution as important as your bank was changing its name, you might take the time to find out how to correctly pronounce that new name? First Union, a large bank, bought out Wachovia, and both banks are becoming Wachovia. People, it’s pronounced Wa-KO-via, not Wa-CHO-via. Now you know. They say it wrong, I say it the right way during the course of the call (not correcting them, just throwing it in at some point), and it’s like it still doesn’t sink in. Pay attention! It’s not that hard!

2003-01-06T21:57:00.000-05:00

"PIGSASS"

When you deal with a lot of customer’s personal codewords at work, you tend to become a bit jaded with what people choose to use as those codewords. "Bigdaddy? Okay, got it." "Sexymama? Sure thing." "Okay sir, let me repeat that back to you to make sure I’ve spelled that correctly: l-a-t-i-n-o-l-o-v-i-n?"

So today, on a busy-busy Monday, I get this older gentleman on the phone in the afternoon. He was having a problem logging in to his account and wasn’t sure of what his codeword was, so I asked him if he knew of any possibilities I could try to type in to our system and see if it matched, before I went through the longer process of verifying information and getting it completely reset. "Oh I don’t know, maybe PIGSASS?" he said.

So I type it in, thinking to myself, hmmm even though I’m jaded with this codeword-thing that IS a strange one to have. When the system comes back saying the codeword doesn’t match, I report "I’m sorry sir, that doesn’t match with what we have."

He’s silent for a moment. "I was KIDDING."

It’s my turn to be silent. Then I just couldn’t help it, I started laughing. Now when I think back on it I guess he was being sarcastic when he said "pigsass," but what if that HAD been his codeword and I’d said something like "Um…yeah. Sure. What is it really?" And then it HAD been correct? You can just never be sure. It was a nice comedic break for me though, it was nice to have an actual REAL laugh. I get tired sometimes of having to do that polite laugh all the time: "Oh yes, umm-hmm, well how silly!…Yes, yes, sure…Why, you don’t say?"

2003-01-06T18:07:00.000-05:00

"FAMILY PORTRAIT"

I remembered something the other day when I was flipping through the channels and happened to catch that music video by Pink, called "Family Portrait," on MTV. For those who haven't seen it, the video portrays Pink as both her normal self singing and also a young actress who plays "young Pink." The little girl lip-syncs to Pink's regular grown-up voice and she's actually pretty good, at some parts she makes convincing facial expressions to go along with the mood, or cries, or acts joyously happy, and you can tell she's a good actress.

The reason I mention this is because that girl in the video is the best friend of my cousin-by-marriage, my Uncle Jeff's niece that I met while I was in California. I was visiting their house the day the video premiered on TRL, and the girl in the video had left a message on their answering machine earlier in the day ("Hey everybody! Just wanted to let you know that I'm going to be on TRL today in a Pink video so make sure you watch it! Okay bye!"). I only caught the 10-second or so preview clip of the video before we left that day, so it wasn't until I was watching MTV in a hotel room on my way back to Virginia last month that I saw the entire thing.

2003-01-05T11:32:00.000-05:00

IMPRESSIONS

Yesterday I spent a good part of my Saturday off work in a hair salon -- over four hours. It wasn't so bad, it would have been better if Devin (my 5-year-old nephew) wasn't there because we were there so long he started getting restless -- first he was hungry, then asking when we were going to leave, if I could drive him somewhere and come back and get my sister later -- you know, the normal kid stuff. My particular cut only took about 20 minutes but I was there with my sister while she was getting a cut AND color, which I know from previous experience normally takes a few extra hours so I went along knowing that I would be there for a while.

The reason I didn't mind waiting so long was because our friend Jeremy works at the salon and he was the one doing our hair, we've known him since Jeremy and I were in high school together back in 1996. He's still perfecting his hair-coloring skills so it takes him a little longer than it would someone else, but he's a fabulous hair stylist. He started out working as an apprentice about 4-5 years ago, so going from there to where he is now I've been able to see not only his skill level rise but also his confidence. He started out cutting my hair with his first salon owner hovering behind, there to answer any questions or offer helpful hints, or to stop him if he saw something awful about to happen I suppose. I can go to Jeremy now and not even have to explain in detail what I want, other than "keep the length" and "lots of layers", and I have absolute trust that I will love the way it turns out. It's nice to have confidence in someone's abilities like that. If anyone in the Richmond area wants to experience a "fabulous Jeremy haircut" (as I like to call it!) for themselves, he can be found at Impressions on Stony Point Rd, phone number 804-323-3133...tell him that Zan sent you.

2003-01-01T21:18:00.000-05:00

THOUGHTS ON THE BEGINNING OF 2003

What was up with the huge "DISCOVER" sign at the bottom level when the ball was lowered in Times Square last night? How much money does a company have to contribute in order to gain such a prominent advertising space? That’s what I want to know. I’m a Discover card holder, and I understand that every endeavor has a sponsor, but that just seemed particularly tacky to me last night for some reason. Just let the damn ball drop and the revelers do their reveling and the fireworks light up the sky and the beer bottles tip back and be consumed (over...and over...and over...) and the kisses and the hugs and the "Happy New Years!" and tears and laughter and good wishes and sadness and joy and despair and hope for the future and what it will possibly bring.

The future can only offer as much as the effort we’re willing to put forward (minus the inevitable of course, things beyond our control like sickness and death). I’m talking about change. Bettering ourselves, enriching our minds, gaining new skills. It doesn’t have to be anything drastic. Maybe deciding to go to an ethnic restaurant and try a food that you’d normally turn your nose up at – and possibly even enjoying it. Reading a book based on a real person or event and learning something you didn’t already know – rather than a paperback romance or fashion magazine. If I have any personal resolutions for 2003, that’s what it is – not to start a good habit or stop a bad one (though that’s certainly not a bad idea and I applaud those people who are successful and don’t have to make the same resolution every year) – but just to take advantage of new opportunities that may come my way. And also seek them out when I can.

Not everything falls in your lap. You have to make things happen. I think that’s one thing that I’ve realized this year. I can’t put off school forever just because I haven’t decided what I want to do with the rest of my life. How will I ever gain the insight to know what that "something" is if I don’t get the life experience in the meantime? I don’t like to be fearful of new situations, but I know the only way to get past that is to force myself to do it. And then it’s over with and behind me and maybe I know just a little bit more than I did before I started. I was reading a magazine today and in an interview with Queen Latifah she said that when she’s in a situation where she’s ready to give up, she repeats to herself "I’m stronger than I think." Even with something as simple as running on a treadmill...you’re tired and you don’t know how much longer you can keep running. "I’m stronger than I think." A breakup that leaves you devastated or maybe thinking that you’re worth less than you are. "I’m stronger than I think."

I’m stronger than I think. I’m stronger than I think. I’m stronger than I think.

2003-01-01T21:15:00.000-05:00

It was such a nice day this morning when I was driving to work. Rainy, yes. Overcast? Check. But there was hardly anyone on the road, and the temperature was warm (or at least it was comfortable only wearing a light coat), it was very peaceful. It was slow enough at work when I first got there that I could enjoy my breakfast (oatmeal), until it decided to get busy and stay that way. Shouldn’t these people think we’d be closed on New Year’s Day? Some people would get on the phone and be like, "Oh I didn’t think you guys would even be open." Yeah? Well then, why did you even call? Tomorrow, after all, is just another day, just as good as this one.

But it was okay. When I had to get the foreign guy to repeat his email address to me letter-by-letter because he talked so fast and his accent was so thick that everything just ran together ("Okay sir, let me just repeat that back to you now: H-as-in-Henry, A-as-in-apple, B-as-in-boy, I-as-in-igloo, B-as-in-boy…" – names of course have been changed to protect the English challenged). When I had about three Quicken connectivity-issue calls in a row, lasting at least 15 minutes each – but all of them turned out successful in the end, and everyone was nice…they all thanked me and wished me a happy 2003. Of course they wouldn’t have been quite as friendly if maybe I didn’t know what I was doing (some of the time anyway!), but luckily that didn’t happen very much today. When I started to feel overwhelmed I would just repeat over and over in my head: "I’m getting paid good money to be here today. Only five more hours to go. I’m getting paid good money to be here today. Only three more hours to go." It helped. I’ve kind of found that things don’t seem as unbearable if you decide in your head that you’re not going to let it affect you that way. It does take a conscience effort sometimes, but that’s okay – better that then slowly driven crazy.

2002-12-31T23:45:00.000-05:00

NEW YEARS EVE

This time last year I wasn't looking forward to the beginning of the new year. I had New Year's Eve plans, as I also had had the previous year, but that didn't make any difference. This year I don't have any plans, but I'm also not dreading the start of 2003, so that's a relief. What's the difference? I honestly don't know if I could put it into words. I have something that I'm looking forward to this time around, which is going back to school full time starting next week. I think my state of mind and GHF (general happiness factor) tends to be better when I'm working towards a tangible goal and not just wondering or hoping about where I'll be in the future. I haven't made a full turnaround from where I've been, I'm not all hyped-up in particular about it being 1-1-2003 tomorrow, but that's okay with me. I'll take it being like just another day to me, rather than dreading its arrival.

2002-12-29T15:40:00.000-05:00

WEB PICKS: "LOAF" WITHOUT PAROLE, AFRICA'S AIDS ORPHANS

What is vegetarian John Lee Malvo, the younger of the two "Beltway snipers" being served in prison? Slate.com says its something called a "vegetable loaf," and has been served to Malvo three times a day, every day, since November 19th. Cruel and unusual punishment? Some may think so, but Malvo chose this option himself because he said it was the only prison dish available that worked with the dietary requirements of his Muslim faith. He's now experiencing adverse reactions to this unchanging food regimen: diarrhea, bloating, etc, but prison officials won't change their food policy because of one individual. They say there are other Muslims there who don't have a problem with the regulation pork-free menu, so just because Malvo has a problem with it doesn't grant him special treatment. Do I agree with this treatment? Absolutely. I think prison inmates have more than enough options and perks, including the amount of money it takes from taxpayers to keep these delinquents incarcerated, so if they don't want whatever is being served then they should have to make do with what they DO agree with. Anybody glad they're not stuck in the same cell with this guy right now?

I hope everyone is already aware of the horrible AIDS epidemic going on in Africa, with millions of people affected and tons of children being orphaned as a result. I found this article on the New York Times website last week, there's 9 different pages that you have to click through as you're reading because they break it down into a certain number of paragraphs per page, but I was so engrossed with the information and wanted to make sure I share it. Apparently they have different orphanges in Africa: one for kids that are already infected with HIV or AIDS and is basically just a care setting (because without the medication available in the U.S. the kids don't live very long), and another type of orphanage where the non-infected kids live and the caretakers work with overseas adoption agencies (in the U.S. and elsewhere) to try and place them with adoptive families. This article is very informative and (to me, at least) also emotional at times, when it describes how even kids lucky enough to leave and get adopted still miss being at the orphanage because of the strong bonds they've built with the other kids (in lieu of a family).

2002-12-25T22:16:00.000-05:00

Clear day, no snow, crisp temperature = beautiful Christmas day and a safe drive to dad's house (1.5 hours away).

One full buffet of food at mom's house for lunch, another full buffet at dad's for dinner = groan. But also YUM. I don't think I've eaten so much since, well...Thanksgiving. Thank goodness these get-togethers come but a few times a year.

2002-12-24T23:00:00.000-05:00

WAL-MART ON CHRISTMAS EVE

Anywhere that you would go anytime on Christmas Eve you would expect to be insane. This is just a fact. That’s why when my sister asked me to go with her to pick up a last-minute gift today at the mall, I refused. Sorry. I had to go to the mall the other day and that was enough for me – that’s why I did most of my shopping earlier in the month or else did it online. It’s the only way to go, at least if you want to keep your sanity.

I did, however, have to venture out to Wal-Mart – which was bad, yes, but not totally insane like a mall would be. I did have to park at the very back of the parking lot, but even the back of the Wal-Mart parking lot isn’t like the back of a mall parking lot. I had to pick up some batteries to go with some Christmas gifts that I already bought a few weeks ago (how tacky not to include batteries when you buy someone something that requires them, huh?), and also some groceries because I’ve been back in Richmond for almost a week now and I still hadn’t gone grocery shopping.

So...my Wal-Mart experience. Let’s see – where do I begin? For starters, there were already crazy lines for the customer service/returns desk, and people hadn’t even started returning their unwanted Christmas presents yet. (Anybody want to leave their current job and start working in retail?) I don’t know what I would do if I were in a different situation and had to buy presents for like multiple kids or something, or even people that are harder to buy for than my family members. There is just this stress level generally attributed with the holiday season, and I’m glad that so far I’ve been able to keep a fair distance from it. I spotted one manager walking around that had taken the ultra-comfort approach to her day (either that, or the store just doesn’t care how their management dresses): hair pulled back in a bun with a pencil stuck through it, baggy gray sweatpants, her feet wearing socks and stuck in a pair of flip-flops.

And then of course the store itself was a mess. Certain things I was looking for were all mixed up on the shelves, they weren’t on top of their respective price tags so I couldn’t tell how much things were or else I had to search for the RIGHT tag elsewhere. I saw empty Starbucks coffee cups scattered here and there, also plastic containers with straws that looked like they came from the snack bar. (Okay, merchandise may be helter-skelter but does that mean people have to leave their trash everywhere too? Apparently so.)

I got the things I needed as quickly as I could, but still an hour had passed by the time I picked up the things I needed and got in line (most of that time was looking for the right stuff OUTSIDE of the grocery department because of the disorganization). The funniest incident happened while I was in the produce department picking up some broccoli and cauliflower from the bins…there was almost a mini-riot. An attendant came over and started wheeling away one of those motorized carts for handicapped people; it was parked near a bin of bananas and nobody was around it. Suddenly a man sprinted (yes, I said “sprinted”!) around a corner from where he was putting another type of fruit in a plastic bag, yelling “Hey! Hey there! What’re you think you’re doin’? Come back here with that!”

The attendant spun around, saying something I couldn’t hear, while another woman that was apparently with the “handicapped” man rushed over. “It’s okay, everything’s alright here,” she said, trying to diffuse the situation. “It’s cool.”

The “handicapped” man plopped into his motorized-cart seat, muttering under his breath “Everyone’s always trying to take your sh**.” He pushes the Forward button on the cart and starts to drive away, and this time it’s the attendant who’s muttering under his breath. Again the woman says something like, “Everything’s okay. It was just his cart, that’s all. Everything’s cool.” And the attendant says something sarcastic by this point, apparently either fed up with his job that day or else maybe just that particular situation, something like “Well he certainly doesn’t particularly LOOK like he needs a handicapped cart.” And the woman says as she’s walking away, “He just likes it, that’s all. He likes the cart, rides in it every time we come here.” Which made me think by that time that maybe the “handicapped” guy was a little mental, or else just a BIG jerk.

So then I was in line for about 20 minutes waiting to check out, I had about 23 items but just enough to take me over that 20-item limit they have for express checkout. I probably could have made it in without anybody complaining (because some of my items were small and they didn’t take up much room in the bottom of my cart), but I hate personally when I only have a few things and have to wait behind somebody who’s taking advantage of the UPPER part of that limit, so I decided to be patient and wait in a longer line elsewhere. (THERE you go, all those people who were waiting in another line today, THAT’S my personal Christmas presents to you guys!) And then, as I was exiting through the electronic doors, I happened to set off the automated “Inventory Control System,” or whatever Wal-Mart calls it. (I SWEAR I didn’t steal anything! I um...swear...) :) I had to wait while one of the faux-important cart distributors rushed over, asked for my receipt, and took it back somewhere and did something with it (I don’t know, I obviously wasn’t paying attention, I was just trying to get out of there as quickly as I could). She brought it back after a few minutes and smiled, telling me I was okay to go, so yeah – whatever that was about, I couldn’t tell you. She didn’t even look through the bags in my cart and compare them to my ticket or anything, so I’m not sure what exactly was being checked.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE!!!

2002-12-21T11:12:00.000-05:00

WEB PICKS: MR. WINKLE, "MAKING IT"

Mr. Winkle is this little dog who is so freakishly cute that he doesn’t even look real. He looks so unreal that it’s almost scary; I almost don’t know whether to feel sorry for him or to be scared of him. I’ve seen him on various shows the past few years (including an episode of "Sex & the City" this most recent season). I was reminded of him recently when Mark Morford wrote a column about him. This dog has made millions for its owner, lending its image to all sorts of promotional merchandise like t-shirts, posters, mugs…the usual. I think I’ll go with my original feeling...scary stuff.

I found this article on a website called Slate; it’s pretty long but I thought worth the time to read. It starts out talking about the feelings of modern college students on relationships, then goes into how they’ve been so bred to succeed in education during their growing-up years that they never really take the time to find out what they’re interested in. Our modern system encourages students to be good in all subjects thrown at them, rather than encouraging them to be exceptional in a few things. Very interesting.

2002-12-20T17:40:00.000-05:00

HAIR, HAIR EVERYWHERE

Girls shed. This is just a fact of life. It comes from having long hair (well, some of us anyway). I shouldn’t make that a blanket statement, I’m sure there must be girls out there who must not shed TOO much hair from their head (or at least not noticeably so). My older sister got on to me one day last year when we were still living in our apartment; she said I left long blond hairs all over the place and she was tired of collecting huge piles of hair when she swept the floors. Up until that time I hadn’t even noticed that I was doing so, but after that I made an effort not to purposefully deposit my hair on the floor. For instance when I sat on the living room couch and combed out my hair after a shower, I started to put all my loose hairs in a pile and throw them out when I was done, rather than previously when I would just let them fall where they may.

Why is this coming to mind? I was just thinking about it the other day when I was at my friend Carl’s place. He lives in an apartment with another guy (who I never actually met, he doesn’t hang out there very much I guess, or at least not while I was there). And it just seems weird to me, leaving these long hairs in a place where two short-haired guys live – it would be like leaving behind something that doesn’t belong there. I know, I’m weird. It’s probably not something that either one of them would ever let cross their minds, even if they did happen to notice, which is a long shot. But I was standing at the bathroom sink, combing my hair, and happened to notice that a few strands fell on the floor. And what I was just talking about came to mind, that’s all. I thought about picking them up. But I didn’t. They’re still there. Bad Zan.

2002-12-20T17:05:00.000-05:00

HOME

Well here I am. I arrived safely in Richmond last night around 5pm, just in time to catch everyone that had gathered at mom’s house and to partake in some garden-topping Papa John’s pizza (mmmm…missed that!). I was so tired and spaced-out from driving so much this week that I wasn’t much of a talker, but I got enough rest last night that now I feel better. I got all of my stuff out of the car this morning and started the process of putting everything away, but that’s a large undertaking all at one time (in other words I got lazy, so some of its done but the rest will have to wait).

I’m looking forward to it all being put in its rightful place though. It’s kind of weird coming back to a room that’s technically mine, but when you leave and come back it’s almost like you have to re-make it yours in order for it to feel like home again. I’m sure once I get all unpacked it’ll be better; I’m looking forward to getting it the way I want it and settling back in. I’ve found that the easiest way to get settled down again when you return from an absence is to make yourself as comfortable as possible in your surroundings. Boxes and plastic containers stacked all around don’t necessarily agree with that "settled down" mentality, so they’ll have to go as soon as possible.

2002-12-18T14:51:00.000-05:00

CHIK-FIL-A

I'm a dork. Most forms of advertising I find either dumb, over-the-top, or just plain sickening (greasy fast food and sugary sweets to kids who don't know better for instance)...but I find the Chik-Fil-A billboards hilarious. You know, the ones where the cows are advertising for the company, holding up signs trying to get everyone to "Eat Mor Chikin?" Or how about the ones where they say "Beef Iz a Partee Pooper." And I don't eat red meat OR chicken, but to me it doesn't make them any less entertaining. I was reminded of this yesterday when Carl and I passed a billboard where the Chik-Fil-A cows were imploring us to "Brake 4 Chikin." They're just too cute. I laughed out loud.

Speaking of which, did you know that Chik-Fil-A sells merchandise pertaining to these advertising cows?

Like I said, I'm a dork.

2002-12-18T11:46:00.000-05:00

TRIP HOME - DAY 4, WEDNESDAY

I don't really notice how good it is NOT to be driving until I can take a break. I only have about 8-9 hours to go when I leave here and continue on to Richmond tomorrow, so that will be a piece of cake compared to the 10-12 hours per day I drove on Sunday and Monday.

2002-12-18T11:37:00.000-05:00

TRIP HOME, DAY 3, TUESDAY

I left the middle-part of the U.S. just in time; the upper part of Texas that I drove through, Oklahoma, and also Arkansas were calling for either rain, snow, or thunderstorms on Wednesday. Gotta love timing, especially in the winter when the weather can be so volatile. When I left Little Rock it was really overcast, and for the first couple hundred miles I drove through Arkansas it was really windy (like both-hands-on-the-steering-wheel windy).

How no-new-music-bored was I today? I broke out my rap CDs, which I haven't listened to in forever. Even then I could only listen to a few songs from each album, everything else I was just like skip this...skip this...skip this...

When you enter Tennessee from Arkansas, at least if you're on I-40, you cross this bridge and halfway across is the "Welcome to Tennessee" sign. As soon as you get off the bridge you're in Memphis, which I hadn't realized was right on the TN/AR border. I was still in the Central time zone then, it doesn't actually change to EST until about 15 minutes outside of Chattanooga.

When I was still about 50 miles from Chattanooga, I passed a sign offering visitors a chance to "See the Historic Jack Daniels Distillery! Tours Offered 9am-4:30pm! Exit Now!" So I was thinking sweet, I'm making pretty good time today, I'll get off of this exit and see if anything interesting is going on. Besides, I've never seen a whiskey distillery before, so I was thinking it would be interesting. No such luck (of course). I get off of the exit, make a left like the sign tells me to, and five miles down the road I still haven't seen any OTHER signs telling me how far I need to go to actually reach this place. I didn't want to drive forever so I just made a U-turn and went back to the interstate -- it might have been a different story if they just told me HOW FAR I'd need to go, but I didn't want to go 20 miles out of my way just to maybe see a place that wasn't that great.

Noteworthy times today:
8:30am Left Little Rock, AR
10:30am Entered Tennessee
2:00pm Exited the infamous I-40 to take I-24 to Carl's house
4:30pm Reached Chattanooga

2002-12-17T01:39:00.000-05:00

TRIP HOME, DAY 2, MONDAY

Today went okay until just about an hour ago, it was just tiring. I was only planning on driving about 10 hours like I did yesterday, but then I crossed the Arkansas border and decided I wanted to continue on to Little Rock (another two hours away, so I drove for 12 hours today). It was all right, but I think I’ll sleep good tonight. The worse part was when I saw a sign for a Motel 6 from the interstate, but when I got off the exit I couldn’t find it. I drove around for about 20 minutes and stopped at two different gas stations (obviously there are very few people nowadays who can give good directions, I thought it was a pretty simple talent but apparently not). I was just about to give up and go to some more expensive place when I saw it out of the CORNER OF MY EYE down this road, not even having found it on purpose at that point. But I’m in the room now! For less than eight hours! Then I’ll get up and get going again! Yay!

I talked to my friend Carl a few days ago and we decided since I’m driving right through Tennessee that it wouldn’t be very smart not to take the opportunity and make a detour through Chattanooga. So I’m leaving Little Rock in the morning, driving about 8 hours to Chattanooga (so I’ll get there tomorrow night), I’ll stay there Tuesday night and Wednesday night, and leave Thursday morning to come back to Richmond (I should get into town by Thursday night).

Some random stuff/thoughts from today:

**Pop radio stations can be a good thing, a nice diversion when you’re driving for 10-30 minutes to work, or for a short trip. Not for a long trip when you end up hearing the same 8 songs all day long because once you get out of range of one station you pick up another that plays the same rotation. I already didn’t like Avril Lavigne, but if I hear her song "Skater Boy" (or how does she spell it, "Sk8ter Boi"?) one more time I will be very likely to shoot myself in the head. Did somebody actually pay this girl to make an album?

**I crossed a bridge while in Oklahoma, and then right after that came an exit. The name of this exit? "Lohtawatah Road."

Noteworthy times today:
9am Left Albuquerque, NM
11:50am Entered Texas
2:30pm Entered Oklahoma
7:45pm Entered Arkansas
10pm Stopped for the night; Little Rock, Arkansas

I’ll add more later but I’m really tired right now and hopefully I’ll be able to get to sleep. I came in and ate a snack because I was starving and drank a can of soda, which of course will probably cause me to be wide awake once I turn off the lights.